Living in a foreign country, I experienced many firsts. One first was a feeling of loneliness. Before I left, it wasn’t uncommon for me to do many things on my own. I was pretty independent and felt fine running around by myself. But being in a foreign country where you don’t know a soul, can’t speak the language or read a thing walking down the streets, it’s easy to feel isolated and alone. This was before email (yeah, I’m old) and it was expensive to set up a land line, so any communication from home was usually by snail mail. Hearing a friendly voice wasn’t readily available.
There were days that I didn’t utter a word. It’s an odd thing going through the day in total silence. At home, I may chit chat with the checkout person at the grocery store or even the occasional “excuse me” or “thank you” to a stranger on the street. Although I learned a few words and phrases, there was a fear that my limited vocabulary would spawn a full on response from the other side. I’d had a number of unsettling experiences that transformed me into a deer in headlights. So I kept quiet and had days where not a single word left my mouth. Even now as I think about this, one word pops into my head. Strange.
I faced some difficult moments when loneliness would creep up on me. All I wanted was not to feel. I had to find a way to power through those times. Music was my savior. I had it on constantly. I also did a lot of reading. Because of the exchange rate, books in English could be a little pricy. I remember considering cost per page. This led me to buy Stephen King’s The Stand because it was over a thousand pages. Who buys books like this? Apparently me. Funny.
Despite the difficulties surviving loneliness, I’m grateful for the experience. It’s a life experience that allows me to feel grace and empathy. Anyone who has experienced loneliness knows you never forget what it feels like.
It also made me appreciate friendships. People need people. I need people in my life. Even though Covid made me retreat socially a bit, I’m slowly getting back out there. It’s funny feeling out of practice socializing. This past year I’ve slowly gotten my legs back. And even though I’ve had moments when I’ve felt awkward as shit, I’m reminded it’s a good thing. Feeling is a good thing. I’m starting to feel comfortable leaning back in.
The Damned released Alone Again Or in 1987. It was a cover of Love’s original released in 1967. The song was inspired by a memory of waiting for a girlfriend.
The repetition of being “alone again” highlights the loneliness and isolation the narrator feels, as their love interest continues to make choices that keep them apart. This repetition emphasizes the recurring cycle of hope and disappointment in their relationship.
Despite the pain, the narrator acknowledges that they will be alone again tonight, emphasizing the inevitability of their solitude. The repetition of this line in the song reaffirms the narrator’s acceptance of their situation, revealing a sense of resignation and emotional exhaustion.
– songtell
I was in the hospital on heavy pain killers and I hallucinated that they were playing the Damned over the speaker system, for a whole day.. Best. Band. Ever.
– YouTube comment from atomicbettie
My dad used to play this when I was a kid. He would put records on in his home office at weekends and I would dance for hours. He passed away last month and this song brings happy and sad tears. Such a memorable piece of music for such a memorable guy
– YouTube comment from abigailhugh-jones8188
The title is an enigma. I’m not quite sure what the “or” is suppose to represent. Maybe it’s giving hint that we have a choice. Not to choose solitude. Not to continue the Covid hibernation from social interactions. Not to be alone. I could be wrong. It’s just that the “or” hanging off the end like that feels as though it’s trying to tell me something. I can feel it. And again, feeling is a good thing.
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Yeah I said it's alright
I won't forget
All the times
I waited patiently for you
As you do just what you choose to do
And I will be alone again tonight my dear
Yeah I heard a funny thing
Somebody said to me
That you could be in love
With almost anyone
You think people are the greatest fun
And I will be alone again tonight for you
Hey I said its alright
You know I won't forget
All the times
I waited patiently for you
Now, you do just what
You choose to do
And I will be alone again tonight its true
*Another* song new to me. Brought to mind Gilbert O’Sullivan’s Alone Again … Naturally.
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I used to hear this on the radio back in the day. I’m not sure how popular it eventually got. The Spanish guitar playing is unique. I didn’t know it was a cover until now.
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“I remember considering cost per page” made me chuckle. You are a numbers guy at heart! Great post.
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Haha… yeah, that’s me.
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funny, but i’ve always thought it’s easiest to talk to strangers (they have no preconceived “image” of who you are supposed to be). but i certainly understand your POV, and i think the majority of people feel exactly how you feel. 🙂
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I’m amazed with bilingual people. So cool.
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Another great post!
What other country did you live in? And how long were you there?
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I spent a year teaching adults conversation English. It was a fun gig. I really enjoyed teaching
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Thanks for pointing out the oddness of “or” in the title. Good song!
I can relate to your recollections on loneliness and the isolation Covid brought. (I joked for a long time that there was never a better time to be an introvert!) We, too, are slowly getting out of that lifestyle and rejoining things, though still being a little cautious.
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Nice post! I am an emigrant to this country as well. I’ve been through a lot! Some good times and some bad moments. But let me tell you this, once you choose hope, everything is possible.
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It must not have been easy moving to a foreign country. I’m glad you chose hope.
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Thank you!
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I like that you pointed out the “Or” as it represents a choice. I can get caught up in self-pity, wondering why I don’t get invitations to go out with my friends. Then, I realize that I don’t make the effort to reach out to them either. Sometimes, loneliness can be the result of our life choices. I’m trying to make an effort to be more social lately, even though it can be uncomfortable for me.
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It’s not easy, I know. I’ve been making an effort this past year. It gets easier over time. Covid has been a bizarre experience.
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I’ve thought of going to another country, but never had the guts. ^_^ I probably would have acted the same way… to afraid to talk least I say something wrong.
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I think back and I’m surprised I hopped on the plane. I remember sitting there while the plane was set to take off on the runway. I said to myself, “this is crazy”
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There are many times I’ve felt that way in my life. ^_^ I’m glad we both survived those times.
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