The older I get, the thought of eventually needing memory care in my golden years becomes more of a concern. Our friend’s mother is in an assisted living facility for Alzheimer’s. When you know someone that is experiencing it, shit becomes real.
My dad had short term memory issues. He had difficulty remembering yesterday, but tried to manage this as best he could. He kept a calendar nearby and he would record everything he did that day. I remember watching him staring at his calendar sometimes. It was a clever way to keep tabs on the recent past.
When my dad was released from the hospital, he was discharged to a skilled nursing facility to build strength before coming home. I remember spending days with him keeping him company. His friends sent him get well cards and we would read them together. After a few hours had passed, I grabbed the cards and we’d read them all over again. Each time it was like the first time reading them. My dad would crack the same jokes almost word for word and we would laugh and laugh. I really love that memory. Despite his health concerns, he still could crack a good joke and make me smile.
My dad loved sports and was a great athlete growing up. We spent hours watching baseball while he was in skilled nursing. While his short term memory faded, he could recount sports stories from decades ago. Memory is really weird that way. There can be such a drastic imbalance.
Unfortunately my father didn’t return home from that stay. It makes me sad to think that he is gone, but I consider myself blessed to have spent the time with him before he passed. Even though he struggled towards the end, the memory I hold dear is sharing a laugh and listening to his stories. I miss him dearly but know he continually watches over me.
I can’t say I’m a Maroon 5 fan, but I do like Memories. It’s a catchy song, but has some sad undertones. It’s really a song about loss.
Adam Levine wrote the song in honor of his former manager and best friend, Jordan Feldstein. “I was in diapers with this guy. And he passed away recently, and so this song came to me at a very interesting time,” he explained on the October 7, 2019, episode of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show”. “I filled in the holes with the proper words that I thought would match the experience that I had been going through. It’s very heavy. I have never had a song about anything quite like this.”
There’s probably a 50/50 chance my memory slips when I get older. No, there’s no science behind this stat nor did my doctor tell me anything of the kind. I’m just playing the numbers and using my common sense assessment. I probably need to eat more blueberries. Every little bit helps. If I happen down the same road as my dad, I hope I keep a number of my long term memories. He and I laughing together tops the list. Fingers crossed.
–
For a complete playlist, please click here.
For the Spotify playlist, please click here.
Here's to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here but you're not
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we've been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back
Memories bring back you
Tequila drinking, double shot, yeah, I need you
I know this life, it look nice, but it get deeper
I run from reapers, dodge bullets from Glock ninas
I live my life tryin' to prove myself to non-believer
Gotta stop that, the devil talkin', I block that
Got some homies in heaven now that watch my back
For all this pain, we numb it with champagne
Hundred bottles in the club, that's a goddamn shame
Everybody hurts sometimes, everybody hurts someday-ay-ay (Four Hunnid)
But everything gon' be alright, go on raise a glass and say-ay
Here's to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here but you're not
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we've been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back
Memories bring back you
Do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do
Memories bring back
Memories bring back you
Look, I done lost love, lost 50s, lost dubs
Lost fights, nigga, lost life of loved ones
Lost time, press and rewind, it won't budge
It's alright, you could tell me your truth, I won't judge
I done lost two relationships you could call true
You hit me up and I'm gon' fall through
Telling lies to sound true like it's all you
Learn to love what's imperfect
That's what God do
Everybody hurts sometimes, everybody hurts someday-ay-ay
But everything gon' be alright, go on raise a glass and say-ay
Here's to the ones that we got
Cheers to the wish you were here but you're not
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
Of everything we've been through
Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back
Memories bring back you
Do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do
Memories bring back
Memories bring back you
Do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do-do
Do-do-do-do, do-do-do (ooh yeah)
Memories bring back
Memories bring back you
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do-do
Memories bring back
Memories bring back you
I’m so sorry for your loss. I understand the pain, especially when you’ve had such a great connection with your parent. I just lost my mom and I considered her my best friend. We would talk a minimum of 5 times a week and I miss those calls.
Great song choice.
LikeLiked by 3 people
I’m sorry to hear about your loss as well. I like to think our parents are always with us. There are signs of we just look for them. I still have conversations with my dad. Its comforting knowing he can hear me.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I agree 100%. Once a parent, forever a parent. They are indeed with us and can keep steering us in the right direction, if we are open to it.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I’m sorry you lost your Dad. How wonderful that he used a calendar to help his short-term memory.
I can already feel my memory slipping, so I downloaded a game on my phone that is supposed to help improve your brain power. It’s called Elevate. Also, I put blueberries in my morning smoothie. Fingers crossed!
LikeLiked by 1 person
I feel mine slip, too. I should do more brain games, too. I sometimes play Wordle and connections. I’ll have to check out elevate!
LikeLike
Beautiful memories of you & your Dad in the skilled nursing facility. Thanks for sharing. Sports are so important to many fathers & sons!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thanks, Mary. I was fortunate we shared that in common. We could just turn on a game at any time and enjoy each other’s company. It really didn’t matter who was playing, it was just an event we both could enjoy together.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I am sorry you had to witness your dad decline like that, though it sounds like you made the most of it to help keep him feeling loved and taken care of. I often think I was fortunate that, while my dad was very sick at the end, he died suddenly. “Memories” is a song I’ve often heard being associated with the loss of someone very close.
LikeLiked by 2 people
I understand that feeling. The slow decline could be difficult sometimes. Sometimes you don’t want that long road to be the lasting memory you’re left with. Both are difficult in different ways.
LikeLiked by 1 person
You’re right, “difficult in different ways.” 🙏🏼
LikeLiked by 1 person
So hard, loss, yet always beautiful to have loved so much.
My daughter’s partner lost his beloved 69yo dad suddenly a little more than a week ago, and since then, my daughter’s been describing to me how the family that’s lived near to one another for generations, constantly tell stories as a matter of course, not just because of this event. I thought about the function of the repetition and circulation, with kids growing up imbibing and then knowing and telling those stories. But now you remind me that there’s a wonderful function for the older relatives as well. His 93yo mother is sharp and full of stories and it’s been helpful for her to get to talk and share. I have some memory issues and came from scattered family on both sides, not really holding on to the stories that way. Have been thinking maybe I should try to learn the old ways. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Maybe the sharing and telling of stories also keeps the spirit alive. There are times when someone in my family will say “Remember when dad…” or “Dad used to…” and we smile. It took awhile for us to get to that point, though. Maybe that was part of our grieving process to be a little sad first before telling a dad story. I’m glad we were able to heal a little bit in that area because now it’s nice to give him a mention from time to time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So good that it’s nice now. 🙂
LikeLiked by 1 person
Beautiful memories of you and your dad, and there’s no doubt about it — the relationship between your father and you was pretty special.
I wish you a very long healthy life. No Alzheimer’s disease! 🌷
LikeLike
Thank you!
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s so difficult to watch our parents grow older and eventually leave us. Sending you love today as we think about our dads (and moms too). 💜
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you. And yes, for our moms, too!
LikeLiked by 1 person