I’m not a big Usher fan. That’s not to say I don’t like him. I just don’t know much about him. In fact, if you asked me to name one of his songs, I’d draw a blank.
Recently I saw a clip of him watching his son playing basketball. He’s being a regular dad sitting in the stands cheering on his kid. I thought it was pretty cool. I think it’s great when stars have down to earth human moments.
I was looking for an uplifting song about dads but unexpectedly found one on the other end of the spectrum. Everclear’s Father of Mine is about growing up with an absent father. It was inspired by the lead singer’s childhood.
A scathing attack on deadbeat dads. It was based on lead singer Art Alexakis’ father. He says it is one of the very few songs he has written that is autobiographical.
In 2003, Alexakis told us: “My feelings for my father haven’t necessarily changed, but my feelings about myself after writing that song have been much better. It was kind of a catharsis to put those feelings into words, it’s a way for me to get things out of my system.”
I was reading the YouTube comments and it seems this song resonated with a lot of people. Everclear may have helped break the cycle for some dads out there.
I still can’t hear this song without breaking down. I will never let my children go through what I did.
YouTube comment by danielfritz4926
“Now I am a grown man with a child of my own and I swear I am not going to let [them] know all the pain I have known”
He left when I was 12, I am now 39, six great kids, great wife, great family. Thank you Everclear for those words that have stuck with me since 1997.
YouTube comment by chrisdennis1449
i met my father once when i was 5 and i still remember him. i always thought that i did something wrong for him not to want me around. im 28 now with my first kid on the way. you better believe my kid will never know the pain i felt.
YouTube comment by tonor
Everclear helped a whole generation of fathers break the cycle with this song.
YouTube comment Meme-qo5gg
I didn’t intend for this post to take this turn, but I just followed where it led. Keep it up, Usher. Enjoy being a regular dad. That’s more important than anything else.
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For a complete playlist, please click here.
For the Spotify playlist, please click here.
Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
You know I just closed my eyes
My whole world disappeared
Father of mine
Take me back to the day
When I was still your golden boy
Back before you went away
I remember the blue skies, walking the block
I loved it when you held me high
I loved to hear you talk
You would take me to the movie
You would take me to the beach
Take me to a place inside that is so hard to reach
Father of mine
Tell me where did you go
You had the world inside your hand
But you did not seem to know
Father of mine
Tell me what do you see
When you look back at your wasted life and you don't see me
I was ten years old
Doing all that i could
It wasn't easy for me to be a scared white boy in a black neighborhood
Sometimes you would send me a birthday card
With a five dollar bill
I never understood you then and I guess I never will
Daddy gave me a name
My dad he gave me a name
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My dad gave me a name
Father of mine
Tell me where have you been
I just closed my eyes
And the world disappeared
Father of mine
Tell me how do you sleep
With the children you abandoned
And the wife I saw you beat
I will never be safe
I will never be sane
I will always be weird inside
I will always be lame
Now I am a grown man
With a child of my own
And I swear I'm not going to let her know
All the pain I have known
Then he walked away
Daddy gave me a name
Then he walked away
My dad gave me a name
Then he walked away
MyGenXerLife 
I was afraid of my Dad in early childhood. He worked hard and came home stressed and angry. The only time he talked to me was when I was in trouble. Then, in my teen years something changed. He became loving and funny. As a grandpa, he was a giant teddy bear! ❤️ I feel like I had two dads, and the latter was my favorite! Looking back, it’s hard to believe they were the same man.
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I can understand his many sides. Raising a family in the early years can be challenging. Glad to hear he transformed not once but twice. Teddy bear grandpas are the best!
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The less said about my dad (and stepdad), the better. This song kinda hits home. Thanks for sharing it.
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Hard topic
Good song though, brutal.
The hardest, by far the hardest part of my first husband developing an addiction and leaving us for it, was watching the impact it had on my kids. Kids deserve good fathers, but unfortunately there aren’t enough of them to go around. The boys grew into men who are committed to being good fathers.
Still brutal
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I’m know someone in a similar situation. It’s not easy for anyone. It’s tragic. Glad to hear your sons became good fathers.
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They are trying always to be.
It’s true, addiction is tragic on so many levels
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I’m not a fan of Usher, but that’s a beautiful dad/son moment.
My dad was completely absent during my childhood. My parents got divorced when I was 2 years old, and I didn’t see him again until I turned 11 years old.
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I’m sorry to hear about your childhood. That must have been difficult.
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Although my husband hasn’t said it in so many words, I know he broke the cycle when he chose to be better. That’s a legendary song.
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My guess is a person can go either way. Glad to hear the direction he chose…
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I agree and I’ve witnessed those who willingly choose to not be present, starting a new cycle.
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