My Gen X Playlist: How to Save a Life – The Fray

I was reading an article about an outbreak of measles in Texas. I was surprised but not surprised at the same time. My first reaction was how in the world? We have a measles vaccine, don’t we? But then I remembered that we live in different times.

When Covid first hit, I couldn’t understand why people were so against the vaccine. Initially, I thought the government should mandate it. No ifs, ands or butts. Get it. These were dire times. Then upon further reflection I changed course and backed off this stance. We can’t force people to do anything to their bodies that they are against. People have the right to choose.

During the pandemic, I had a conversation with a friend who was upset that the public school system was requiring Covid vaccinations as a condition of enrollment. She felt it was violating her rights. On the contrary, I calmly disagreed. Nobody is forcing the vaccine on anybody. You don’t have to choose public school. There are other options: private school, home schooling. While she countered that not everyone could afford these routes, I agreed but stated not every choice is a perfect fit. Like any decision in life, people need to weigh their options and choose what’s best for them. She wasn’t on board with my reasoning.

At the time, I worked with a large school district client and I understood the gravity they faced as they tried to protect their students and staff during those initial scary months. They had suffered serious outbreaks in their community and were grappling with the enormity of the situation. Sadly, even a few of our contacts at the school district passed away from Covid. I calmly asked my friend if she were the sole decision maker responsible for protecting all students and staff in the district, if it all rested on her shoulders, what strategy would she deploy to keep everyone safe? As she thought about it from that angle, her position softened. I’m not saying I convinced her to come on board, but at least that provided context for decisions made during the crisis.

And so as I mentally step into the counter argument’s shoes and try to understand the decision not to get the measles vaccine, I’m again reminded that people have the right to choose. It’s a difficult pill to swallow especially when I wholeheartedly disagree with the decision not to get vaccinated. It saddens me when people suffer the consequences of their (in)actions. There’s no I told you so but at the same time, there aren’t any do overs, either. Fortunately, measles typically aren’t life threatening. But whenever I hear the word vaccine, I’m triggered to think about the people I knew who passed away before the Covid vaccine was discovered. It seems to me that a couple of shots is a small price to pay to potentially save a life.

The Fray released How to Save a Life in 2005. The song is about not knowing how to help someone when the stakes are high.

The Fray lead singer Isaac Slade explained that he wrote this song about an experience he had working at Shelterwood, a camp for troubled teens in Denver, Colorado. “One of the kids I was paired up with was a musician,” Slade said. “Here I was, a protected suburbanite, and he was just 17 and had all these problems. And no one could write a manual on how to save him.”

“I had friends in my life that I felt unable to reach,” Slade said in a 2007 interview. “I didn’t know how to help them or how to stop them or how to save them – it’s not like I’m some savior. We wrote the song out of frustration that it’s difficult sometimes to know what to say and when to say.

Songfacts

He’s right. Life doesn’t come with a manual. There’s no guide book or map. It makes me wonder, when did life become so complicated? I wonder if it’s always been this way or if it’s become progressively worse. I hear people say they long for the good old days, for a more simpler time. But I’m not so certain a simpler times ever existed. One thing’s for sure. Life is complicated and a little messy. It always has been. It always will be.

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For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

Step one, you say we need to talk
He walks, you say, "Sit down, it's just a talk"
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
'Cause after all, you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God He hears you
And I pray to God He hears you, and

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

How to save a life
How to save a life