Last year, my niece was accepted to a pretty good school on the east coast. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a difficult year for her and after careful thought, she decided to return home.
Although she was confident in her decision to leave school, I could sense she wasn’t quite comfortable talking about it. I shared with her that my wife and I both transferred after our first year of school, too. Her eyes became big and it seemed to lighten the burden. There was comfort knowing she wasn’t the only one to make a change.
Transferring is no big deal, I told her. College will be an amazing time in your life. You’ve got to go somewhere you love. I’m glad you made the right choice for you.
In addition to academics, she wanted to attend a university with school spirit. My wife and I were thrilled to learn that she applied to our alma mater. Over the months, we tiptoed around the subject of admissions. We didn’t want to jinx it and patiently waited to hopefully hear good news. We were ecstatic when she texted photos of her on campus wearing the university gear, signaling she got in. My university oozes school spirit, almost to the point of cult-like proportions. I’m certain she’s going to love it there. (Plot twist: her parents attended our arch rival university across town.)
A few weekends ago was the start of college football season. I was excited she was going to the first game and couldn’t help texting her. I can’t wait to see her at the next family gathering so she can tell us all about her new life living on campus. We’re truly happy for her not only because she’s off to a new start, but also proud of her for turning the corner on a negative experience. Maybe it’s her first life lesson, something to build on.
I was surprised when I first heard Green Day’s Good Riddance (Time of Your Life). I wasn’t expecting an acoustic song from them. While a turn from their normal music style, I still was a big fan. The first verse has always stuck with me over the years. Although in a different context, it also can describe my niece’s turn of events.
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don’t ask why
It’s not a question, but a lesson learned in time
I can’t imagine what parents experience as they watch their kids go through ups and downs. We are just the auntie and uncle and it was difficult to imagine our niece struggle. It makes me wonder how my parent’s kept their sanity watching four kids leave the nest and allowing us room to learn life’s lessons first hand on our own. It certainly couldn’t have been easy to watch. I’m just glad my niece was able to pick herself up and set herself on a new course. I’ve always said, there is so much to learn during your college years and most of those lessons are not learned from sitting in a classroom. I do love the nostalgia – bumps, lumps and all. Man, those were the best times. Definitely the time of my life. I hope they are for her, too.
It’s something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
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Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life
Congrats to your niece for making a hard decision and her family for supporting her. The saying among my group of parent friends is: you’re never feeling better than your child who is feeling their worst.
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This song still speaks to me. It’s all unpredictable, and I cling to the hope that in the end it’s right.
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Well said!
I think it’s hard to see for your niece in the short term, as I’m sure it was for you and your wife to see back then, but she will find, in time that she does have good memories and doesn’t regret the decision to try to go away to school.
I think a lot about my move to South Carolina. I stayed there for eight years. During that time, I ended up changing careers and my marriage ended. But looking back on the experience overall, I’m glad that I did it.
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That’s pretty good perspective. I think after there is enough space, it’s easier to reflect on it.
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Those college years are definitely laying the foundation for the rest of your life. Who will you be as a person? What will you do for a living? What kind of friends will you have? I’m glad that your niece has a good support system.
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Definitely a great song by Green Day! Wishing your niece all the best at her new school, closer to home.
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Oh man, great post. The college years… at least for some of us… are so formative and special. It’s a heady time when we’re charting our own course, the first taste of independence, learning, experiencing. I remember one Saturday afternoon sitting in my dorm studying for a test on Monday. The stadium was maybe 1/4 mile away and now and then I could hear the roar as 90,000 fans cheered a touchdown. “Screw this,” I thought, closed the books and ran to the game. I’m planning to go back in November to a game with my wife, daughter and SIL, who is also a Gator. Those days are always with me 😎
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Great memory… I’m sure you’ll remember that more than that test on Monday. Good luck against Miami this weekend!
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I’m glad your niece is feeling better at her new school! We did the college thing with our oldest, who is now 25, and now we have an almost-18-year-old making decisions about what she wants to do. Such an exciting and scary time. You and your wife sound like really wonderful Uncle and Auntie. 💜
This song always reminds me of the last episode of Seinfeld…
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These days, the whole college process seems to be a lot more intense than when we were younger. Well, I guess it is if you let it be. And because it’s almost impossible to switch majors after you’re in, that puts a little extra pressure. These poor kids.
Seinfeld… I love the library detective episode…
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Your niece is brave, and I’m sure she’ll do well at school. She faced her doubts for the first time and now she made a good choice. She’s fortunate to have such a supportive uncle by her side.
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I’ve been imagining and realistically preparing myself for when our teen leaves. It’s a scary thought.
Your niece is a star. Best wishes to her.
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Thank you!
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