I was reading a post from Just Rojie about a quarter life crisis and it got me thinking. Have I ever experienced one? Thinking back, the root of any of my life crisis only existed because I allowed work to dominate my life.
I remember once having an epiphany moment. I was sitting in my office at midnight, the only person on my entire floor and thinking this wasn’t sustainable. I realized the firm I worked for didn’t have my best interest at heart. The people, yes. The company, certainly not. Yet here I was, one of many late nights, choosing work over my own life. Shouldn’t I be married by now? What about kids? Most of the time I was either stressed, exhausted, hung over or numb. This pace wasn’t good for my physical or mental health. Not a great way to live.
Finding balance is pretty difficult. On one hand, you’re pursuing a career, professional satisfaction, advancement and a more comfortable life. On the other hand, it’s easy for your well being to unnoticeably get pushed aside. Sometimes when you’re in the forest you really can’t see beyond the trees. And it’s probably even more difficult for the younger generation because their peers post every single movement on social media. It feels like they’ve juiced up their feeds a bit for the wider audience. I don’t really blame them, though. It’s the environment they find themselves in. Thank god I didn’t grow up in this era. It’s difficult enough making shit work without having that extra layer of social media pressure and competition.
Back to my original question. Have I ever had a quarter life crisis? Honestly, it’s difficult to carve out any specific time in my life to pin that label on the donkey. It’s easier to conclude adulting is simply difficult, period. Should I just call it an entire life crisis? I know I’m being overly dramatic when I say this because I’m fortunate to have a life with a healthy balance of ups and downs. But some days, boy. You can’t convince me otherwise.
I asked AI to jog my memory of “Gen X quarter life crisis movies” and it gave me Reality Bites. I remember liking this movie when it came out, but loving the soundtrack even more. I pulled the CD from my collection and listened to it the other day while working. There are a number of great songs to choose from. Crowded House’s Locked Out seemed to call my name. I didn’t find much backstory online. That’s OK. It’s just a good tune and I’ll settle for that.
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For a complete playlist, please click here.
For the Spotify playlist, please click here.
I've been locked out, I've been locked in
But I always seem to come back again
When you're in that room, oh what do you do?
I know that I will have you in the end
And the clouds they are crying on you
And the birds are offering up their tunes
In a shack as remote as a mansion
You escape into a place where nothing moves
And I've been locked out, and I know we're through
But I can't begin to face up to the truth
I wait so long for the walls to crack
But I know that I will one day have you back
And the hills are as soft as a pillow
And they cast a shadow on my bed
And the view when I look through my window
Is an altarpiece I'm praying to for the living and the dead
The twin valleys shines in the morning sun
I send a message out to my only one
Yet I've been locked out, and I know we're through
But I can't begin to face up to the truth
And I wait so long for the walls to crack
But I know that I will one day have you back,
Yes, I will
And I work, bees in the honey
Every night, I circle like the moon
And it's an act of simple devotion
But it can take forever when you've got something to prove
I've been locked out
And I've been locked out
And I've been locked out
MyGenXerLife 