Last weekend, the weather was beautiful. It was sunny and hit the mid 70’s. We went for brunch and sat outside to enjoy the weather. Many had the same idea and the outside seating was full.
Next to us sat a young man with his parents. We were in such close quarters that I couldn’t help overhear their conversation. He was explaining to them how he couldn’t work in a job that didn’t align with his *something or another*. For the life of me, I can’t remember what word he used. Something about his words and attitude didn’t feel right.
Normally, if I hear a young person not wanting to pursue a career that conflicts with their conviction or values, I nod my head in agreement. Yep, good choice. Good for you. Maybe even a high five. This conversation had a little different feel. He kept repeating that he wasn’t influenced by money. Money didn’t mean anything to him. He was a little smug and too high on himself. All I could think of was wtf?
I noticed he was in designer casual wear and thought to myself he probably never had to support himself a day in his life. I tried not to be judgmental. I really did. But I’ll admit, I was. All I could think of was the best thing his parents could do for him is gradually cut the cord and let their son venture off into the real world. Making a living, paying your own bills and becoming an adult gives you an appreciation for those green rectangles that fit so neatly in your wallet. There’s nothing like going solo, navigating through life on your own two feet to help form perspective.
Was I being petty? Yeah, a bit. I’m usually not this way, but I couldn’t hold back the urge. And I fully acknowledge I could have completely misread everything entirely. How could I know the real story by eavesdropping every third word and not knowing this guy from Adam. I normally give people the benefit of the doubt. Normally, just not that morning.
After about 15 minutes of having one ear at our table and the other ear glued to the next, I decided to reel myself back in and mind my own damn business. After all, I didn’t have a dog in the hunt and no use letting it distract me from brunch and the beautiful weather.
I know Fleatwood Mac’s Go Your Own Way is about a breakup, but the title fits. And I’m not suggesting that dude’s parents break ties with him. I just think they should give the little guy a nudge out of the nest.
Buckingham wrote “Go Your Own Way” in what he described as “a stream of consciousness” that focused on his raw emotions. Ken Caillat, who produced Rumours, was unsure if the song had any potential when Buckingham presented the song to him. “Lindsey was beating his acoustic guitar as hard as he could and screaming his lungs out. The first time I heard it, I thought, What the heck is going on? It sounded so non-musical. I didn’t know if anything would come from it.”
I’m going to modify Caillat’s quote slightly for my eavesdropping brunch.
The first time I heard it, I thought, What the heck is going on? It sounded so non-sensical.
Still being irked and petty. Really, I gotta get over it.
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Loving you
Isn't the right thing to do
How can I ever change things that I feel?
If I could
Baby I'd give you my world
How can I
When you won't take it from me?
You can go your own way
Go your own way
You can call it another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way
Tell me why
Everything turned around
Packing up
Shacking up's all you wanna do
If I could
Baby I'd give you my world
Open up
Everything's waiting for you
You can go your own way
Go your own way
You can call it another lonely day
You can go your own way
Go your own way
MyGenXerLife 
What a coincidence. Just this month I had a serious conversation with my son about his work prospects. He was thinking of dropping out of his academic program so he could work for a non-profit and help the world. I appreciate his desire, but he’s never had a non-academic job and never lived outside of campus-focused life and has no idea how hard it is to get health insurance, to pay the bills, etc. It was a really tough conversation. What helps for him is that he’s getting a PhD in physics, so I could get him to see that those three letters after his name will help him do good in ways he can’t predict right now. I hope your restaurant neighbors gave their kid a similar talk. Geez.
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That must have been a difficult conversation for both of you. But it sounded like a necessary one. I hope he considers continuing with the PhD program. That must have been an incredible amount of work to get that far. It would be such an accomplishment to see it through. And yes, he could help the world in so many other ways afterwards…
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I was successful – he’s changed his mind and is sticking it out. WHEW.
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Great news! After all his hard work, it’s good he’s going to complete it!
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I think the most important thing, especially for us creative types, is to understand that we’re probably not going to get paid a living wage for what we want to do. It’s not really in the best interest of paid schools to tell their students that they’re eventually going to have to work for a living.
I heard a similar conversation yesterday between a kid and his father at the bar, hopes and dreams vs. cold reality. Sometimes I really want to root for the kids, even though I know their dreams may be unrealistic, because we have to keep art and compassion and humanity alive in the world.
On the flip side, those little green rectangles are necessary evils!
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Yes, it’s a difficult balance and trade off. When I jumped back into work after my sabbatical, people asked me why I went back to the same role. I told them I tried to find a role that was more passion based, but sadly I would have to give up a lot in order to pursue it – salary, health insurance, etc. Everybody is different, but I chose the practical route. I’ll save the passion projects for retirement in a few years.
And yes… I’m rooting for the kids, too. Nowadays, there is more flexibility. I hope they can satisfy both worlds.
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I believe there should be a balance between the dreamers and the realists in the world. Without dreamers, we wouldn’t have a lot of the innovations we now enjoy. But, it takes realists to provide structure and sometimes invest in the crazy ideas of the dreamers.
With that said, I think there’s a new generation of entitleds who are neither dreamers nor realists. They want to float through life gratifying their own desires. In my opinion, that is what is causing an imbalance. The entitleds are heading for a rude awakening.
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I do get that with the entitlement, and those who aren’t willing to work for their goals will be in for a hard time. But I also think there’s a movement towards ideas that maybe those of us from older generations just don’t understand, and I think it’s necessary and inevitable. Remember, all our parents thought we were going to hell in a hand-basket too🙂
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I totally agree! I was just commenting to another reader that I only half understand the younger generation and aware my old school way of thinking doesn’t apply or translate to today. Yes, the hell and a hand basket my parents were concerned about never came! Life in wash, rinse, repeat!
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I agree with the concept of balance. It’s difficult to achieve. Unfortunately sometimes sacrifices have to be made either one way or the other. I will admit, I’m an old guy that maybe only half understands the younger generation. I love their energy but my old school ways of thinking may be a little outdated. But the need for adulting is something that doesn’t skip a generation. I guess they’ll have to learn through trial and error just like the rest of us.
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i have mixed emotions on this topic. my first thought was, “oh, the luxury of being able to turn down a job just because it doesn’t “fit” with your personal narratives, etc… (because i’ve truly lived through times where i needed to take any legal job to make ends meet) … but, i also think that if i had wealthy parents that would allow me to slide, i would take advantage of that, and SLIDE (most likely because i’ve never had the luxury of that either). players be playin’ 😉
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I guess I never thought about it from that perspective!
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🙂
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True, he needs to navigate through life on his own two feet to help form perspective. Some people were born with a silver spoon, and lucky them. Others had to struggle to live, but they’re the strongest, wise, and nothing can defeat them.
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Struggle does build grit, I agree.
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My son was telling me his friend got a job and I told him he should get one too. It would pay for his gym and he’d have his own allowance.
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