My Gen X Playlist: Dumb – Nirvana

I think I’m in the running for idiot of the year and I’m not sure there is a close second in sight. I’m almost embarrassed to confess what I did. But it’s so stupid, I have to.

Once a year, we get a free hotel room through one of the perks of our credit card. It was going to expire soon so we booked a room about a few hours away. It was nice to get out of town, if only for the night.

On our way back, we decided to stop at a restaurant we used to frequent when we lived in LA. It had been awhile since we ate there and we enjoyed a nice lunch. As we were leaving, I got caught behind a few very slow moving cars in the parking lot. I was eager to get home so when I saw an opening to veer out of line, I took it. There was another exit and I headed that way.

Now, I’ve eaten at this restaurant millions of times. I’m no stranger to this parking lot. Yet, as I turned to exit, I was surprised to hear the sound of popping tires. Fuck. What happened?

I always wondered who was stupid enough to do this. That afternoon, I found my answer because I was the moron that ran over those metal spikes and both driver side tires were completely flat. WTF. What a dumb ass I am.

We waited for the tow truck to pick us up. It was a longer wait than usual because we needed a flat bed truck. The only tire repair place open on a late Labor Day afternoon was in South Central LA. It sounded pretty sketchy, but we had no choice. Fortunately the owner was a good guy. Unfortunately they didn’t have tires I needed for my car. Instead, they put on a pair of random used ones just to get me rolling. We got out of there before nightfall and thankfully made it home safely.

There’s always a silver lining even on the shittiest of days. As we rode with the tow truck driver, he could tell I was pretty disgusted with myself. Then he said:

You know. Things like this happen for a reason. I truly believe this happened so you were able to avoid a terrible situation. I genuinely believe this. Think of this as a blessing.

Whoa. This turned out to be more comforting that I would have thought. And even though I didn’t totally believe this, his words lessened the weight on my heart and shoulders and made me feel a little bit better. So despite the self inflicted crappy day, I was grateful for the kindness of a stranger. It made me think there really are good people in this world.

I searched for songs about morons and dumb asses. Dumb by Nirvana came up on the list. It been awhile since I’d heard this one and I did a little research about the backstory.

Maybe the song is, as Kurt suggested in interviews, a sort of backhanded tribute to people who are so ignorant that they breeze through life’s problems. “I think I’m dumb,” he sings, but the refrain offers a riposte to those who would label the narrator that way: “Maybe just happy.”

American Songwriter

Because I tend to be a perfectionist, I normally put a lot of pressure on my everyday self. Forgiving myself for my dumb ass mistakes ain’t easy for me. And believe me, I’ve had my share. There’s no harsher critic than the narrative played in my head and that voice isn’t too shy to voice it’s opinion. I’ve often wondered what it would be like if I was simply dumb and happy instead. It does have its perks, you have to admit. But then again, continuously driving over parking lot spikes without learning my lesson is a Groundhog Day loop I’d rather avoid. So I’ll take my verbal lumps and put up with my abusive narrative for now. I just need to take a spoonful of my own advice and allow myself some grace.

And if there’s anyone out there brave enough to admit they did the same thing… well, misery loves a little company.

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For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb

Or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy

My heart is broke
But I have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
We'll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then we'll come down

And I have a hangover
Have a hangover
Have a hangover
Have a hangover

Skin the sun, fall asleep
Wish away, the soul is cheap
Lesson learned, wish me luck
Soothing burn, wake me up

I'm not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But I'm having fun
I think I'm dumb

Or maybe just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy
Think I'm just happy

I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb
I think I'm dumb