Oh man, it’s so easy to get in the rut of complaining. It’s like a weed. It begins to grow and suddenly, it’s taken over the entire garden. The infestation can take over your daily conversation. The trick is to tackle it before it spreads. Or have a good friend tell you some unabashed, hard truths.
When I was in college, I got into one of those complaining ruts. When I look back, I didn’t really have anything of consequence to complain about. Just young people issues. One of my friends I hung out with was already out in the working world and was fairly successful, so when he stopped to give his sage advice, I listened. The good thing about good friends, they can just tell you like it is. No sugar coating. No pulled punches. He didn’t gently pull me aside for a private conversation, either. He made sure it was loud and clear.
“Stop your f*ing bitching. Complaining is such a waste of energy. You know what you should do? Use that energy to find a solution so you aren’t complaining anymore.”
Um, yeah, that stung. But the shock value has it’s upside. It stuck. The weird part was I didn’t even realize I was complaining so much. There’s that weed thing again. This punch in the face was all the weed killer I needed to turn over a new leaf. This is not to say that I don’t complain anymore. I do. I’m still human. A little complaining can even be cathartic. But the tough love stuck and I monitor myself. No weeds allowed.
The Buzzcocks released What Do I Get? back in 1978. Although the Buzzcocks were considered a punk band, it’s not the incoherent screaming I associate (rightly or wrongly) with punk rock. I like the guitar and drums and the lyrics are straight forward and simple.
The Buzzcocks are the perfect mesh of punk and pop, a cleaned up version of the grittier Sex Pistols, but still pretty bratty themselves. Pete Shelley’s voice has a melodic, high-register flair. He sounds downright desperate and pleading on songs like “What do I Get?” and “Ever Fallen in Love?,” but it’s OK because the chunky music that surrounds him is so easy on the ears.
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One thing is for sure. They could have benefitted from a quit your bitching tough love conversation with my friend.
I just want a lover like any other
What do I get
I only want a friend who will stay to the end
What do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
I'm in distress I need a caress
What do I get
I'm not on the make I just need a break
What do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
I only get sleepless nights
Alone here in my half-empty bed
For you things seem to turn out right
I wish they'd only happen to me instead
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
[Solo]
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
I only get sleepless nights
Alone here in my half-empty bed
For you things seem to turn out right
I wish they'd only happen to me instead
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
I just want a lover like any other
What do I get
I only want a friend who will love to the end
What do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
What do I get
Oh oh what do I get
Well let me tell you now
I get no love
I get no sleep at nights
I get nothing that's nice
I get nothing at all
At all, at all, at all
At all, at all, at all
Cos I don't get you
Once again, we said the same thing differently. ^_^
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Yes, it is so like a weed.
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Love The Buzzcocks! And you’re so right – complaining just for the sake of it is just a waste of energy. Sometimes you DO have to say something … like even your pal was complaining about your complaining! But it did have a positive consequence. So sometimes it is indeed worthwhile. 😉
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It’s good to have supportive friends who will tell you the harsh truth. You’re right…complaining is a waste of energy that you could use to find a solution instead.
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He was pretty brutal and it was in front of friends, but it was a good message to hear
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That’s not cool. He should’ve talked to you privately.
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It’s ok. It’s a guy thing. That’s what guys do when they are younger. It’s a way that guys keep each other in check (we would never say these things to our female friends). If you give it, you gotta take it. My wife scratches her head at this dynamic. Of course, we are not like this today. Hopefully we have grown out of this. Hopefully…
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Haha…you got some good friends.
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Gotta love them.
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Keep them. 👌
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They sure could have benefitted from that! Haven’t heard this song in many years… not really a fan of the Buzzcocks though punk wasn’t really my thing either. Not complaining, though. 😉
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Haha… that made me laugh! That’s the only song I know from them. I did listen to more of their music yesterday, it was ok. I think I’ll stick to this one .
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Glad to have made you chuckle!
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“it’s not the incoherent screaming I associate (rightly or wrongly) with punk rock” – I so relate to that line. My husband loved hardcore punk for many years. 🙉
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I do have a handful of punk music I like, but it can be a little much for my tired old ears today…
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It’s easy to do, I agree
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