Life likes to throw you water balloons filled with mixed emotions. That’s what happened when I had my first mortgage. I bought a small condo downtown. At that time, the area hadn’t quite been gentrified yet and nobody was really living in downtown LA. Smart move? I wasn’t sure yet. I worked downtown, had been renting the condo and the owner wanted to sell. He offered a fair price, so I thought, why not?
When I made my first mortgage payment, the weight of adulthood began to creep up. Does this officially make me an adult? Before that, I never gave it much thought. When I mailed that first payment (yes, we old Gen Xers use the US Postal Service), I think it made me think about being forever responsible. Not that I wasn’t to begin with, but I always felt I had a get out of jail free card because I could always lean on the excuse of being a stupid punk kid. I no longer had that in my back pocket. And don’t get me wrong, the mere fact that I now owed money to the bank wasn’t the adult indicator. It was more like the defibrillator that shocked me to my senses. Time to adult.
Internal reflection time. That’s what mature adults do, right? Important questions crossed my mind. One very important question: Does this signal the end of my Vegas days? Let’s not get too crazy, folks. I was in debt, not dead. But it probably was wise to curb them a bit and reduce the frequency. Hey, that’s compromise. Isn’t that what we adults do? I was growing up right in front of my own eyes. My parents would be proud.
This prompt reminds me of the opening lyrics of The Cure’s In Between Days. I think the song is probably about a failing relationship and on the whole, the song doesn’t apply. Just the opening verse catches my eye.
Yesterday I got so old
I felt like I could die
Yesterday I got so old
It made me want to cry
OK, that’s probably a boat load more drama than I was feeling, but you get the picture. Goodbye, stupid punk kid. Hello, stupid responsible guy. I can’t wait to drop the stupid part. I’m still waiting.
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Yesterday I got so old
I felt like I could die
Yesterday I got so old
It made me want to cry
Go on, go on
Just walk away
Go on, go on
Your choice is made
Go on, go on
And disappear
Go on, go on
Away from here
And I know I was wrong
When I said it was true
That it couldn't be me and be her
Inbetween without you
Without you
Yesterday I got so scared
I shivered like a child
Yesterday away from you
It froze me deep inside
Come back, come back
Don't walk away
Come back, come back
Come back, today
Come back, come back
Why can't you see
Come back, come back
Come back, to me
And I know I was wrong
When I said it was true
That it couldn't be me and be her
Inbetween without you
Without you
The jump from tenant to owner is a biggie! The mortgage payments – and also calling the landlord to fix something is no longer a thing. It’s all you. Great song! I think the Cure, with their wildly popular tour last summer, may be the quintessential GenX band.
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I agree! To both!
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Making payments for 30,40, 50 years is difficult to grasp when younger. Even now it seems repressive
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When you are younger, 5 years feels like forever. 30 years is eternity.
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The credit card companies got me in college in the 90s . I racked up a pretty big mountain of debt to climb. Mostly out drinking 🤨
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I totally understand. We were in the same boat.
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Love your opening line, “water balloons filled with mixed emotions.” So true! I’m also not a big fan of adulting.
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I’m the same. I remember thinking to myself, “When did life get so hard?”
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Heh, I’ve been cleverly disguised as a responsible adult for a long time. It’s hard to face sometimes though. Ha! Good song.
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Good disguise! It’s not easy being a responsible adult. I sometimes long for the carefree days!
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I think you can drop the stupid part. You made some clever decisions. Buying a house these days is not easy. The rate of inflation is getting high.
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It’s so difficult these days. I hope things take a turn.
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Back in the day when I bought my first car (1980), the “preferred” bank interest rates were wild, like nothing seen in years, thankfully… 16.25% per year — now that led to some adulting for sure!
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Woa… that is big number. I remember when a 6% mortgage was an amazing interest rate way back when. These days, it’s pretty high. Times certainly have changed.
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They sure have, and not necessarily for the better, especially for those struggling to make ends meet.
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This is the kind of Cure song I like, as opposed to their darker stuff. You and I, or else another blogger, have discussed this before, a la “Just Like Heaven.”
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Yes, I agree. I like the upbeat sound!
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