My parents.
I look at my siblings and myself and I see my parents’ fingerprints all over us. Growing up, there was an emphasis on family, work ethic, independence and kindness. There really wasn’t ever a direct conversation about these things. It was an unspoken understanding.
My parents weren’t perfect, but they did the best that they could. Everyday life wasn’t always hugs and kisses. My mom was the enforcer and if we really royally screwed up, it became a wait until your father gets home moment. Oh man, those were never good. I remember once hiding under my bed, not wanting to face my dad. I don’t remember ever being spanked, but I sure remember the fear of it. That was enough to straighten anyone out.
I think one of my parents’ greatest achievements is the friendship among the siblings. There are four of us, so the chances of at least one frayed relationship is pretty high. But we got lucky. Sure, we love each other because we’re family. We’re suppose to. But we also genuinely like each other as well. As adults, I can’t remember ever having any drama between us.
They say you can’t pick your family. You get what you get. It’s a crap shoot when you really think about it. But if we had the power to choose, I’d pick every single one of them. I wouldn’t change a thing.
Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young released Teach Your Children in 1970. I didn’t know they sang about teaching both ways.
Unique about “Teach Your Children” is that the first half of the song is advice to teach your children well and the second half is for young folks to “teach” their parents. We don’t normally think of kids teaching their parents, but Nash does an interesting thing here in trying to explain parents’ fears to the kids that at the time was his audience. Notice he doesn’t take a side. He feels we could both do better at teaching each other.
– the greatest songs
And you of tender years
Can’t know the fears
That your elders grew by
When you are a kid, you have no idea of the weight and worry of responsibility that your parents are under. Roof over your head, food on the table, clothes on your back, keep everyone safe. You are too young to appreciate the effort and sacrifice parents make. Thinking about this now makes me want to give them a hug.
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You, who are on the road
Must have a code
That you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a goodbye
Teach your children well
Their father's hell
Did slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they pick's
The one you'll know by
Don't you ever ask them, "Why?"
If they told you, you would cry
So, just look at them and sigh
And know they love you
And you of tender years (Can you hear and do you care)
Can't know the fears (And can you see)
That your elders grew by (We must be free)
And so please help (To teach your children)
Them with your youth (What you believe in)
They seek the truth (Make a world)
Before they can die (That we can live in)
Teach your parents well
Their children's hell
Will slowly go by
And feed them on your dreams
The one they pick's
The one you'll know by
Don't you ever ask them, "Why?"
If they told you, you would cry
So, just look at them and sigh
And know they love you
I don’t have any siblings, but I know lots of folks who do, and I’ll say that you are pretty fortunate that you all get along so well. Seems very rare these days.
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I agree. We are not too far apart in age so we grew up as friends. I’m pretty fortunate.
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That’s great. I know a lot of siblings that can’t stand each other and barely talk when they got older. It’s more common than I thought, actually. lol
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I have friends that have challenging relationships with their siblings. Yeah, it’s pretty common unfortunately
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I know two brothers who have spent most of their time on this earth physically assaulting each other. From childhood all the way into adulthood. Freaking crazy.
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Insane…
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Yeah. Brotherly love at it’s finest 😄
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I love that if you could choose your siblings, you would still pick every one of them again! That’s the best testimony of loving parents.
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I didn’t realize how lucky I was until I became an adult.
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As much as my family is a pain, I’d still pick them if I had to choose to do it all over again! haha very refreshing post, and inspiring to hear about your family getting along so well. If I was blessed with a family of my own I’d want to implement the same.
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Thanks for the kind words. It’s great you’d pick yours, too!
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Beautiful post! As others have said you are indeed lucky to like all of your siblings! I always liked this song, especially the second verse with the counter melody, but now I get it. Thanks for explaining what Nash was doing there…addressing the younger generation in the second half. I think the counter melody shows the tension between the two generations.
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It is interesting that he showed both sides. I think there will always be this tension. It’s just a part of growing up
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lovely post today. i am so grateful for my two sisters. it wasn’t all smooth sailing but we are very close and have been for years.
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Glad you are close with your sisters. There is a different dynamic between sisters that is really different between brothers. I think it’s more complex and a closer relationship. Brothers are just simple.
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What a lovely post. Really heartening to read how you feel about your siblings and how you feel about what your parents taught you. Hugging parents would be good. Thanks for this post.
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Thanks, Steve.
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How lovely that you have such a close relationship with your siblings! I was never a huge Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young fan, but can appreciate their music 🙂
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Love the song
Love the post
Parenting is way harder than it looks, sooo true!
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