I’ve lost touch with a friend a few decades ago. I met my friend Jim while teaching English in Japan. We worked for the same school and went through teacher training together. Both thrown into a foreign country, forced to figure out life as ex-pats. He was an attorney in the real world, a Berkeley grad. Yeah, he had a little hippy in him. Me being a business school grad growing up in a conservative part of California, our political leanings were opposite sides of the spectrum. But that didn’t matter and we became good friends.
After training, they shipped us off to our respective schools. We would occasionally hang out in Tokyo, sightseeing or bar hopping. It was good to speak English freely, not choosing our words carefully for the sake of communication. That’s what a typical day was like when speaking to students wanting to learn English. Sarcasm was pent up – it didn’t always translate with the locals, so day to day it was kept inside. Hanging out and sometimes commiserating about living in a foreign land was good for our mental health.
He also was an aspiring musician and songwriter. I’d catch him randomly scribbling notes on scraps of paper. Lyrics or inspiration hit him and he wanted to capture the moment. I always thought that was cool.
I attended his wedding. It was a small, warm, intimate gathering. I was happy he met his special someone. I remember watching their connection grow when a few of us spent a week on a small island off the coast of Thailand. There they blossomed into the happy couple. It was cool to see that come full circle as they walked down the aisle.
Somewhere along the way we lost touch. I remember a disagreement on the phone. Something stupid about politics. But when I look back, I think it may have been life stress on both our parts that triggered overblown reactions. That was my last conversation I had with him. I always thought what a shame.
I occasionally do google searches. He has a pretty common name, so that leads to nowhere. I search every few years hoping to find a differed result. Mostly a sea of unfamiliar faces pop up. Who knows, maybe one day I may get lucky.
Lost friendships sometimes feel hollow. It’s an odd feeling. It’s not a feeling of sadness nor regret, even though there is a small tinge of both. There isn’t the feeling of a missing piece, either. That’s not it, that’s too deep. I just wouldn’t mind giving my friend a call to meet for a beer to catch up on life. Our friendship helped me survive a year abroad and that’s something not taken lightly. It would mean a lot if we reconnected. Maybe one day. Until then, I’ll remain hopeful.
Instead of a sappy song with a friendship theme, I’ll lean towards the 80’s band name, Missing Persons. One of my favorite songs from them is Destination Unknown. Enjoy.
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Life is so strange when you don't know
How can you tell where you're going to
You can't be sure of any situation
Something could change and then you won't know
You ask yourself
Where do we go from here
It seems so all too near
Just as far beyond as I can see
I still don't know what this all means to me
So you tell yourself
I have nowhere to go
I don't know what to do
And I don't even know the time of day
I guess it doesn't matter any way
Life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
Your destination
Something could change
It's unknown
And then you won't know
Destination unknown
You ask yourself
When will my time come
Has it all been said and done
I know I'll leave when it's my time to go
Till then I'll carry on with what I know
Life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
Your destination
Something could change
It's unknown
And then you won't know
Destination unknown
I read this twice, not because I didn’t understand it the first time but just because I loved the way it was written.
It is sad when this happens, makes you wonder if they ever think or feel the same of you. I hope someday you two reunite!
I looked up the song, can’t say I recognize it.
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Thanks for the nice comment. That made my morning. The song is from the early eighties. It’s an oldie but goodie (at least for me!)
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The last conversation I had with a guy I’d known for 15 years at the time (we met in 2003) was about politics. When I rejoined Facebook a couple of years ago, I tried to connect with him. His wife connected but he did not. We used to go fishing together. I rarely caught much and didn’t care whether I did or not. It was nice to hang out on the beach though.
Good song. It was my first time hearing it.
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Pretty similar circumstances. Politics… not worth it
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I agree.
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I had a friend like that. We got very close abroad and stayed in touch for years, but then nothing. There was no disagreement. I think some people just never wanted to be “found” once social media emerged and everyone was reconnecting. Have you checked LinkedIn?
Great song…life is so strange!
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Different seasons, different friendships maybe. Yep, I checked LinkedIn. I think he left the law for tech. Glad you liked the song! Not sure how popular Missing Persons was. It got a lot of airplay over here.
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Here too! I remember the song well, but some of these 80s videos you pull up are pretty nutty! I dont remember any videos before A-ha.
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That’s good to know. There were a few reader comments that this was a new song to them. Maybe they are youngsters lol.
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“We have three types of friends in life: friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.”
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Wise words. Thanks, Grace. I always appreciate your comments.
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I enjoy your posts – either the content or the music usually trigger me to go looking for more of whatever piqued my curiosity/interest.
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Great memories of Missing Persons!
I know what you mean about friendships. Like this group, some great things exist for a particular time, but I hope you’re able to connect again one day.
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Thanks, Stephanie. And yes, Missing Persons!
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Oh gosh, I’m sorry that you’re no longer in touch. May you reconnect when you are supposed to. 😘❤️
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Thank you. Maybe one day.
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if he has the same number, maybe you can send him a text?
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Ah, lost number…
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