My Gen X Playlist: The Mother – Brandi Carlile

When I was young, I remember my mom gathering us four kids to have a talk.

Kids, there’s too many of you for me to do all the housework. We’re all going to learn how to do things around the house and you all are going to pitch in.

Over the course of a few months, she proceeded to teach us how to use the dishwasher, washing machine and dryer, the vacuum and a mop and also how to iron a shirt. What the hell, I thought. It felt like we were in a hard labor camp. We were just kids. I think the four of us spanned elementary and junior high. Maybe my oldest brother just entered high school.

She also decided it would be a good idea if we made our sack lunches for school everyday. We stood in an assembly line every morning. It’s easy when you have a set formula. Sandwich, snack and fruit.

Later she had us occasionally pitch in with dinner. Nothing too complicated. Make a salad. Steam some vegetables. Cook rice. She handled the main dish. But it must have been helpful with a few extra pairs of hands once in a while.

I will say those early years of free labor paid off later in life. We all learned to be self-sufficient. Not pros at anything, mind you. Nowhere close. But we were never completely lost on our own.

I remember in college, my roommate asked to wake him up in the morning so he could watch me iron a shirt. Really? You don’t know how to iron? A few times he’d ask me where I learned this or that. Mom’s hard labor camp should have been my answer.

OK. OK. Yes, I put something red with my whites once and made my clothes pink. I think we all have at some point. It’s a rite of passage. It needs to be done at least once before you can say you are a full fledge adult.

But I now appreciate those early years as we gathered around the washing machine and my mom showed us kids how much detergent was needed, choosing the right water temperature and which button to press. Who would have thought my mom’s labor camp could have been so helpful down the road. The spouses in my family are appreciative, that’s for sure. And if I’m totally honest, so am I. Thanks, mom.

If you’ve been reading this blog for awhile, you’ll know I’m a fan of Brandi Carlile. She wrote The Mother after welcoming her daughter into this world.

On June 15, 2014 Brandi Carlile and her wife Catherine Shepherd welcomed to this world their first child, a daughter named Evangeline Ruth Carlile. The singer plays tribute to her little girl and her experience with motherhood in general during this song.

“Welcome to the end of being alone inside your mind,” Carlile said of the track. “To some, this sounds like the realization of their most sacred dreams – true companionship. For some, this sacrifice is too much to bear and requires its own brand of radical forgiveness. For the most part and for me, it’s equal measures of both. I am not just a mother, but it’s all that I am.”

Songfacts

It doesn’t matter how old we get, mom will always be mom. The role changes a bit as she lets go as we wander into adulthood, but the sentiment never changes. There are times when my mom will insist on packing us leftovers, giving us a few extras of this or that, or doing that little extra for us even as adults. I used to fight it, telling her that it wasn’t necessary, I was OK. Then it dawned on me that I was denying her the pleasure of still taking care of us as a mom. Now I just smile, say thank you and give her a hug. Brandi Carlile was right. She is just not a mother, but it’s all that she is.

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For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

Oh, ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Oh, ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh
Oh, ohh-ooh-ooh-ooh

Pray God you can cope
I stand outside this woman's work
This woman's world
Ooh, it's hard on the man
Now his part is over
Now starts the craft of the father

I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left

I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking

Of all the things I should've said
That I never said
All the things we should've done
Though we never did
All the things I should've given
But I didn't
Oh, darling, make it go
Make it go away

Give me these moments back
Give them back to me
Give me that little kiss
Give me your

I know you have a little (hand) life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left
I know you have a little life in you yet
I know you have a lot of strength left

I should be crying but I just can't let it show
I should be hoping but I can't stop thinking

Of all the things we should've said
That we never said
All the things we should've done
Though we never did
All the things that you needed from me
All the things that you wanted for me
All the things that I should've given
But I didn't

Oh, darling, make it go away
Just make it go away now