My Gen X Playlist: Boy’s Don’t Cry – The Cure

I’m generally a pretty good tipper. Being a server isn’t easy and I appreciate the effort that goes into providing good service. But deep down inside, I know that’s really not the only reason behind it. That’s only half the story. The other half is tied to something that occurred long ago and stayed with me for a while.

I was a newly minted freshman in college and I took a date out for sushi. Being a clueless young guy who recently left the nest, I underestimated how much dinner would cost. When I received the bill, I panicked. I wondered if I had enough money in my wallet. Whipping out a credit card would have solved all my problems, but it was the late 80’s, I was young and didn’t have one yet. Please let there be enough cash in my wallet. I wouldn’t want to dine and dash on a first date.

It turns out I had just enough to cover dinner, but not enough for tip. Man, was that embarrassing watching the sushi chef’s expression as I gave him every last dollar I had on me. Damn.

From then on, I always made sure of two things. First, never leave the house without emergency cash in my pocket. You just never know when you’ll need it.

Second, always leave a decent tip. And when in doubt, overtip. Although I no longer feel the need to overcompensate for that one evening, it eventually just became habit. That was over thirty years ago and I can laugh about it now. Young and clueless. Live and learn.

So now the song… I’m going to have to waive the white flag. For the life of me, I couldn’t think of a song about tipping, dine and dashing or eating sushi. So today I’m going to cut myself some slack and call it dealer’s choice.

Boys Don’t Cry was one of the first new wave songs I ever heard and I was hooked. The Cure and Robert Smith were so different and you couldn’t help but like the uptempo melody of this song. The inspiration behind the song is somewhat different.

The song grew out of Robert Smith’s frustration over being expected to conform to an outdated view of masculinity. “When I was growing up, there was peer pressure on you to conform to be a certain way,” the Cure frontman told NME in 2019. “And as an English boy at the time, you’re encouraged not to show your emotion to any degree. And I couldn’t help but show my emotions when I was younger. I never found it awkward showing my emotions. I couldn’t really continue without showing my emotions – you’d have to be a pretty boring singer to do that. So I kind of made a big thing about it. I thought, ‘Well, it’s part of my nature to rail against being told not to do something.'”

Songfacts

Well, I kept a straight face as I was mentally counted the bills in my wallet. Panic stricken on the inside, game face on the outside. Yeah, maybe I’d be in tears if my date had to wash dishes in the back kitchen to work off our unpaid dinner bill. That would certainly have been traumatic. I’m not sure I’d be able to hold back those tears. Who says boys can’t cry.

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For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

I would say I'm sorry
If I thought that it would change your mind
But I know that this time
I have said too much
Been too unkind

I tried to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I tried to laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'Cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

I would break down at your feet
And beg forgiveness, plead with you
But I know that it's too late
And now there's nothing I can do

So I try to laugh about it
Cover it all up with lies
I try to laugh about it
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'Cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

I would tell you that I loved you
If I thought that you would stay
But I know that it's no use
And you've already gone away

Misjudged your limits
Pushed you too far
Took you for granted
Thought that you needed me more, more, more

Now I would do most anything
To get you back by my side
But I just keep on laughing
Hiding the tears in my eyes
'Cause boys don't cry
Boys don't cry

Boys don't cry