My Gen X Playlist: Paint a Vulger Picture – The Smiths

When we were little kids, my family used to make the long drive to visit our grandparents. There was this painting they had that used to creep the shit out of us. It was a portrait of a little girl. Sounds like it should be cute, but it wasn’t. The eerie expression on her face is seared in our minds and we remember it even to this day as adults.

Funny thing is, we disagree where it hung in the house. For some reason I remember it in the dark, dingy garage. My brother remembers passing it in the hallway. My sister thought it found its way into the guest room. Regardless which wall it called home, it sent shivers down our spines every time we looked at it.

The painting turned up after my grandparents passed away. I found it while rummaging through boxes in storage one day. That expression is just as shocking now as it was when I was a kid. I looked at it in disbelief. What was this doing down here?

Even a bigger surprise was when we learned it was painted by a mildly popular local artist in the 60’s. My amateur sleuthing determined it’s not rare nor valuable, but my curiosity still got the best of me. So . . .

. . . I signed up for the lottery for tickets to be on Antiques Roadshow. Why the hell not, right? The worst that could happen is my number doesn’t get picked and the painting continues to sit wrapped up in a box in storage. If I am chosen, I know the appraisal won’t suddenly hand us FU money. It will, however, be an additional puzzle piece in my family’s history, adding a little bit of extra flavor to the story.

There’s a number of songs that reference famous artists. Picasso, Van Gogh, Cezanne and Warhol to name a few. Because I grew up a Smiths fan, I opted for Paint a Vulger Picture instead. It turns out this isn’t a song about paintings at all.

“Paint A Vulgar Picture” comes at the end of the band’s spectacular five-year run of successful albums and singles. The band had already called it quits by the time their last studio album, “Strangeways, Here We Come” landed in stores. A harsh critique of the music industry for its greed, the song tells the story of label executives discussing ways to profit off of a musical star’s recent death with repackaging and rereleasing material to sell to grieving fans.

SkippedOnShuffle

Even though the artist of our scary painting passed away, there isn’t a big payout anywhere on the horizons. No greed on our end, just a mild case of curiosity. If we don’t win a ticket to the show, we’ll just pack our curiosity in a box and wrap it up for safe keeping. Yes, art shouldn’t end up hidden in a box, but we don’t have the stomach to hang this one on our walls. Maybe the little girl will re-emerge when a generation of great grandchildren stumble upon her somewhere in the distant future. Let’s hope she doesn’t scare the shit out of them like she did us and she finds herself hanging on a wall once again. Maybe one day.

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For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

At the record company meeting
On their hands – a dead star
And oh, the plans they weave
And oh, the sickening greed

At the record company party
On their hands – a dead star
The sycophantic slags all say :
"I knew him first, and I knew him well"

Re-issue! Re-package! Re-package!
Re-evaluate the songs
Double-pack with a photograph
Extra track (and a tacky badge)

A-list, playlist
"Please them, please them!"
"Please them!"
(Sadly, this was your life)

But you could have said no
If you'd wanted to
You could have said no
If you'd wanted to

BPI, MTV, BBC
"Please them! Please then!"
(Sadly this was your life)
But you could have said no
If you'd wanted to
You could have walked away
...Couldn't you?

I touched you at the soundcheck
You had no real way of knowing
In my heart I begged "Take me with you
I don't care where you're going... "

But to you I was faceless
I was fawning, I was boring
Just a child from those ugly new houses
Who could never begin to know

Who could never really know
Oh

Best of! Most of!
Satiate the need
Slip them into different sleeves!
Buy both, and feel deceived

Climber – new entry, re-entry
World tour! ("media whore")
"Please the press in Belgium!"
(This was your life...)

And when it fails to recoup ?
Well, maybe:
You just haven't earned it yet, baby

I walked a pace behind you at the soundcheck
You're just the same as I am
What makes most people feel happy
Leads us headlong into harm

So, in my bedroom in those 'ugly new houses'
I danced my legs down to the knees
But me and my 'true love'
Will never meet again

At the record company meeting
On their hands – at last! – a dead star!
But they can never taint you in my eyes
No, they can never touch you now

No, they cannot hurt you, my darling
They cannot touch you now
But me and my 'true love'
Will never meet again