My Gen X Playlist: No Rain – Blind Melon

I looked at my logbook and was surprised how fast time had flew by. Since my heart scare, my cardiologist asked me to take my blood pressure twice a day. Once in the morning and once before dinner. I’ve been recording my numbers for two years ever since.

I remember when I first started, taking my blood pressure gave me incredible anxiety. I felt these reading were out of my control and I could suddenly have a heart attack at any moment. Anxiety is not a good recipe when taking your numbers. My brother in law suggested a glass of wine before each reading. While his heart was in the right place, a 6:30 am glass of vino is not the breakfast of champions and probably wasn’t the best way to begin my day.

I eventually was put on meds, changed my diet and took a sabbatical from my career. I seem to have it under control for now. An occasional high reading doesn’t freak me out like it used to. I just flip back a few pages to swim in the good numbers and understand one high reading is a blip on the screen. It took me a long time to get to this point and I’m not just referring to my lower numbers. More importantly, I’ve begun taking a healthy lifestyle more seriously. The view is so much better when I finally pulled my head out of the sand. One may argue I really pulled it out of another dark crevice, but that’s just tomato vs to-mah-toh in my opinion. I say better late than never.

When Blind Melon wrote No Rain, it was inspired by not wanting to wake up to face the day.

“The song is about not being able to get out of bed and find excuses to face the day when you have really, in a way, nothing.”

Songfacts

That’s how I used to feel about my health. Although I would physically get out of bed each morning, the mental struggle to concentrate on self care was impossible. It was easier to crawl under the blankets and hide from the truth that I had been neglecting my well being for far too long. My career self was 110% accountable. My self self, well, that was a complete train wreck.

In the end it all catches up with you.

Whoever coined this phrase was stating the obvious that we all too conveniently choose to ignore. There’s no abracadabra in repeating it out loud and no sudden wisdom is dropped into your waiting open pocket. And when you’re in your twenties it’s easy to ignore because you rationalize that you still have plenty of time. Your twenties become your fifties at the drop of a hat and one morning you wake up driving your 50 year old self to the ER. That’s when you realize you’ve been purposely turning the 5 upside down and twisting it to the right in a feeble attempt to make it resemble a two. And in the distance, if you squint just enough in a dimly lit room without your glasses, it just may. At least enough for you to call off the dogs on yourself. And that’s what I did until the smell of my own fear in the ER became the smelling salts I needed to turn on the lights, put on my Clark Kent’s and be honest that a change was needed. Or else. And we all know what or else really means.

So that leaves me where I am today. Every morning and every evening taking my blood pressure and diligently writing it down in my daily log. Thankfully it’s become less nuisance and more habit these days. Some say I should digitize my readings. I’ve considered it. But the numbers have a greater effect when I actually put pen to paper. They become real when I write them down. It stays top of mind and at this point, I’ll take that as a win.

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but it's not sane
It's not sane

I just want someone to say to me, oh
I'll always be there when you wake, yeah
You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made

And I don't understand why I sleep all day
And I start to complain that there's no rain
And all I can do is read a book to stay awake
And it rips my life away but it's a great escape
Escape, escape, escape

All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
You don't like my point of view, you think that I'm insane
It's not sane, it's not sane

I just want someone to say to me, oh
I'll always be there when you wake, yeah
You know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today
So stay with me and I'll have it made, I'll have it made, I'll have it made
Oh, no, no, you know, I really wanna, really gonna have it made
You know, I'll have it made