My Gen X Playlist: Both Sides Now – Joni Mitchell

I was reading a blog recently about a woman approaching her 39th birthday. It’s only natural to reflect on life when you’re finishing off your thirties. It got me thinking about myself around that age. I remember it well.

Turning 37 was the first age that made me think, Damn, I’m getting up there. I know people don’t typically round up in increments of 5, but I kept thinking I was now a step closer to 40 with 35 a million miles away. The big four-oh. Is that technically middle age? Crap.

The trauma of the number eventually waned. I managed to make it over the mental hump. I heard someone once say 40 was the new 30. I decided to latch onto that one. Yeah, whoever said that was spot on. At least, that’s what I kept telling myself.

Just before opening the door to forty, I made the decision to pay more attention to all aspects of health: mental, physical, financial and spiritual. It’s been a challenging struggle since then. A lot of hills and valleys sandwiched between my forties and my fifties. I do feel like I’m making headway, though. Not everyday is a good day, mind you. Some days have less potholes than others. Progress is progress, no matter how slow it crawls.

I will say, incremental change can move at a snail’s pace. It’s easy not to notice progress when your head is down, concentrating on moving forward. Every so often I look up and at times, actually feel a change within me. My initial reaction is usually surprise. I don’t know why. And then I allow myself to enjoy the good feeling and soak it in. The important part is to keep moving forward. Doing something is far better than lying on the sofa brushing potato chip crumbs off your chest. Believe me, I’m well acquainted with the latter.

If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.

Leo Burnett

A few other realizations come to mind. One: it’s important to allow yourself some grace. Otherwise, you’ll just drive yourself bat-shit crazy. Life isn’t easy. I’ve got plenty of knee burns from my stumbles and falls. We just have to remember to be kind to ourselves. I write these words more for my own sake than anything else. It helps me to believe when I say it out loud.

And two: 50’s are the new 30’s. Or, at least, that’s the revised version I tell myself now. If I continue with this trend, I have a pretty good idea what I’ll say when I hit 60. Who knows? Nothing wrong with believing in the power of positive thinking.

I thought about songs that sang about life’s changing seasons. Fleetwood Mac’s Landslide already made the playlist long ago. So I’m pivoting to Joni Mitchell’s Both Sides Now.

The song is all about perspectives – clouds look very different depending on your vantage point. Mitchell got the idea when he was on a flight, reading the 1959 novel “Henderson the Rain King” by Saul Bellow. In the book, there’s a part where Henderson is on a plane and looks down to see the clouds. When she got to that section, Mitchell put the book down and looked out her window to do the same. Right away the song started coming to her.

Among the many artists who cite this as a profoundly influential song is Nichole Nordeman, the two-time Dove Award winner for Female Vocalist of the Year. . . “In rather beautiful irony, she recorded the original song in her 20s as a new artist and made it a hit, and then again in her 50s, when she had really lived the lyric. I like it better when older Joni sings it. Full of grit and nicotine and hard living, the regret and tenderness is what makes it more believable the second time around.”

Songfacts

Joni Mitchell is 81 and literally has seen life from both sides. I do like reading YouTube comments. They seem to capture the sentiment perfectly.

The greatest song ever written. The only song that truly is a synonym to whatever it is we call life, from beginning to end…

YouTube comment by monicacinemylo

Something’s lost and something’s gained in living every day. Those words have sustained me through many painful times. Love you Joni

YouTube comment by beverleytaylor6720

Younger Joni singing this vs older Joni. The younger sang it optimistically, and this Joni sings from experience. Poignant melancholy. Sublime.

YouTube comment by lesjf8832

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For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

Rows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and ferries wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way

But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud,
To say "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way

But now old friends they're acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained
In living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

I've looked at life from both sides now
From up and down, and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all