I was reading an article about something called the Costanza Strategy. For those Gen Xers who watched Seinfeld, you may recall the episode when George Costanza realizes that trusting his instincts never was a successful strategy. Maybe doing the opposite would yield better results.
Jerry Seinfeld: “If every instinct you have is wrong, then the opposite would have to be right.”
George Costanza: “Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something!”
How many of you are banging your head against the wall doing the same thing over and over again, wondering why it’s not working? And then, weeks, months, or years later, you end up regretting that you’re still in the same place, banging your head against the wall?
I reflected upon my own life and areas I should consider being open to doing the opposite. I’m not at the point where I’m banging my head against the wall. There are some things where my initial inclination is to say no, and some things that I need to pick my butt off the sofa, take some action and give it a try. Here’s a mixed list of these in no particular order.
- Say “yes” when invited for drinks by people I recently met
- Sing karaoke
- Let go of work responsibilities and take a vacation
- Sign up for painting classes
- Start a side hustle
- Stop replaying past moments in my head
- Poetry reading at an open mic
- Run a marathon
- No longer being anonymous on my blog
I always say the first step is identifying and accepting there is a problem. OK, maybe I can’t classify any of them at problem proportions just yet. A better description is areas where change couldn’t hurt. Let’s see if any of the above gets any traction. And for the record, that last one scares the hell out of me.
This blog really has been my secret. It started out on a whim while on sabbatical. It was my first time writing and I was too self conscious to attach my name to it. And when you are anonymous, it allows you to be less inhibited. Maybe even vulnerable. I still hold back a bit even with my anonymity cloak on, though. That’s the odd part. I admire bloggers who are unafraid to put themselves out there, own their own stories. I’m not quite at that point yet. Maybe one day I’ll go Costanza on myself and flip the switch. Until then, I think I’ll keep this my little secret.
In 1985, OMD released Secret. This song came out before CDs and I bought this one on vinyl. This song reminds me of high school and remember playing it over and over on the turntable. And while it received plenty of wonderful reviews, there were a few detractors, too.
Writing in Number One, Stuart Husband referred to “Secret” as a “pretty song” and “the Manoeuvres’ cutest single for many a moon”.
In a retrospective review, Dave Thompson of AllMusic observed an “emotive love song buried in an over-produced behemoth of a backing”. Conversely, Thompson’s colleague Mike DeGagne lauded the track as one of OMD’s best 1980s singles, noting its “adolescent innocence”.
While I can’t imagine any flaws in this song, I understand people’s differing tastes and opinions. Not everyone will find the same connections to songs and melodies or even to blogs and writing styles for that matter. How boring the world would be if everyone did? And maybe that’s the cool part of the process of creating. Is it cool enough to drop my identity into my blog? Well, maybe not quite yet, but at least it’s inching in that direction.
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For a complete playlist, please click here.
For the Spotify playlist, please click here.
Secret.
Secret.
I've got a secret and I can't explain
all the time I've waited for this day
all along I was never in doubt
I've always knew it could ever get out
There are things that I cannot tell
and there are things that you know damn well
This is getting very hard for me
I guess you'd better just wait and see
Shut up!
This is all
This is all
secret.
You brought a message and the message was clear
all the time you wipe away that tear
all I want is to hold your hand
to see the sun and walk the sand
You make me sad as you make me glad
And now you see all my secret is is love (is love...)
Everyday I'm always there
you can't fight me
and make me feel it's worth my while
and then I look around and you're not there
and every day you say you can't hang out beware
Secret.
This is all
This is all
secret.
I got a secret and I can't explain
.. is this all
All I want is to hold your hand
.. is this all
All along I was never in doubt
.. is this all
To see the sun and to walk the sand
.. is this all Secret
[fade]
I got a secret and I can't explain
All I want is to hold your hand
MyGenXerLife 
I like that you keep your anonymity, some times people need to not put everything out there online! (Like me!) lol
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So many thoughts about your post today. First, I am a huge Seinfeld fan…in fact, my husband and I just watched a few episodes last night. Love that one when George does the opposite!
Second, I love your list of things that you would consider saying yes to. I agree. I read a book once called, “Sorry I’m Late, But I Didn’t Want to Come.” The author is an introvert and decided to say YES to every opportunity for a whole year. Then, she wrote the book to describe her adventures. It was inspiring for me. I need to get motivated to do the same.
Lastly, I was terrified to let my friends and family know that I had a blog! I asked an author friend how he got over that fear of sharing personal details of his life and past trauma online. He reassured me that you are under no obligation to share anything personal. You should write for you and not care about what others think. With that said, I realized that if I was going to publish my book, I had to let others read my blog and be comfortable with it first. So far, so good!
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I really appreciate all of your comments! One of my favorite Seinfeld episodes has the librarian detective guy. I love the character and the actor.
I should try to say yes more. Inspiring to hear about someone saying yes for a year. Wow!
Maybe I’ll share my blog with a few select friends one day. Thanks for your thoughts. Much appreciated!
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I hope you do a Costanza someday and reveal who you really are!
I’m still uncomfortable talking about my blog to people in my everyday life, so I completely get your fear. Why are we like this? 😊🤣
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I know, right?
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Dude, you’ve been talking about trying Karaoke for a long time now. Pick your song and give it a go. How about an 80s GenX hit? You’re an expert! Last Valentines Day I performed “Our Lips Are Sealed” in a red velour track suit. You can do it!
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Ah, I love it! That’s a good one! I remember buying that one on vinyl. Such a good one.
There used to be a karaoke bar down the street from where I lived in the city. Mostly locals showed up. It was a mix from very good to very bad singers. The last time I sang, it was Rock Lobster. I had enough liquid courage in me that night. My buddy knew all of the fish noises! But that song isn’t really singing, lol.
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Oh so you have done it before! I thought you were a karaoke virgin. 😂
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I still feel like one!
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Love your list–hope you are able to complete it, and soon…except maybe the last item. I’ve been blogging for 20 years. I don’t have a huge readership–that was never my intention. And even if it were, somehow I don’t believe putting your “real life” details on display is what drives readership. Anonymous and safe from online stalkers (I had a brush with one many years ago) is the way to go in today’s world.
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Wow! 20 years is pretty inspiring. I love hearing that. This blog experiment has been fun. It’s a good outlet when I’m feeling stress.
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How about: Just Like Heaven (The Cure), Blister in the Sun (Violent Femmes) or It’s the End of the World… (R.E.M.)? 😊
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Those are good ones! I love that REM song. I can see myself tripping over my tongue when it speeds up! I like Blister in the Sun. I might be able to pull that one off!
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I grudgingly like Seinfeld even though my family watched it every week and I laughed at every single episodes but that opposite is the only one I truly liked.
Doing opposite sounds so scary and I’m scared to do some of the things you listed but I hope you’ll take one for the team someday!
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It is scary, isn’t it? What about you? Anything on your list?
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I wanted to just pack myself ONE bag and move to the mountains or rural places in Japan without any planning. I’m a planner so this totally goes against everything I do.
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That sounds adventurous! I like this idea.
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i liked the song (kinda a mix between Wham and Culture Club)– or at least that’s what my ears heard. i also like secrets– so not knowing your real name only adds to the mystery :). oh, and you should def do karaoke!
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That’s an interesting mix, but I totally see it! OMD is such an 80’s band. Good nostalgia…
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I’d say this song goes really well with your anonymity. I’m looking forward to your reveal someday 😁.
You keep coming up with great lists. I’m not sure what my opposites are, I’m so stuck 😅.
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Give the list a try! Even if you think of one or two things!
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Thankyou. I should do that.
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I would love to know who you are, but if you feel that keeping yourself anonymous would make you feel…I don’t know how to describe it…maybe gives you the sense of comfort and let you slip beneath the radar, then keep yourself anonymous.
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