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My Gen X Playlist: Hurt – Nine Inch Nails

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Back in my college days, Top Ramen was a familiar staple. Oddly, I could eat it for any meal – breakfast, lunch or dinner. I loved the versatility of this cheap delicious food source. I wouldn’t say I ate it everyday, but I never was in short supply for a quick fix. I was young and invincible.

This even crosswalked into my late twenties. It especially was good after 2:00 am when the bars closed. Eventually, instant noodles fell out of rotation over the years, but the nostalgia still remained.

During the early days of Covid, when it was not uncommon to see empty grocery store shelves, I scored when I found an entire box of instant noodles. I may have even done an arm pump in aisle 5 after I loaded it into my cart. From that fateful day, I learned a few things from this long awaited reunion.

One. My taste buds still enjoyed that one of a kind flavor. Yum.

Two. Having lived in Japan for a year, eating a bowl of ramen was akin to riding a bike. I still remembered how to slurp the noodles while eating with chopsticks. Delicious and fun.

And three. While my taste buds and inner nostalgia were enjoying this prom dance, my old man 50’s stomach was left to wrestle with what felt like 50 pounds of processed carbs. Oof. Not fun.

Afterwards, I pulled myself aside for a serious conversation. I weighed two goods versus one bad and asked myself: Was it worth it?

Fast forward . . .

I walked into the pantry on Saturday looking for something to eat. My eyes felt a gravitational pull upwards and to the right. Hidden in the corner on the top shelf sat a nondescript box with two loving words printed on the side. Top. Ramen. It was almost like a hand delivered invitation to a five year reunion. Did I learn any lesson from my past? Not quite. Selective memory got in the way.

In hindsight, I tried to find some legitimate reason why I’d forgotten the pain. I know it’s a stretch, but here goes.

. . . women often report that the pain of labour has all but been forgotten. It hasn’t really been forgotten, but the happiness and reward colour the memory . . . This is known as the halo effect.

Interestingly, while the science won’t back up the claim that women forget entirely, it does suggest that over time, many women remember labour and birth pain as being less severe than they originally recalled.

The Conversation

Yeah, I know that’s a stretch. I should have just understood that my body can’t handle instant noodles anymore. But a five year separation is a long time and made the 50 pound indigestion seem a million miles away.

It gets worse. I didn’t throw one package of noodles in the pot of boiling water. I went all in and threw in two. I patted myself on the back for only using one flavor packet instead of both. I was being mindfully healthy, I assured myself. And it doesn’t take a genius or crystal ball to guess what happened an hour later. One hundred pounds of buyer’s remorse kept me company for a few hours. And the funny thing is, I told myself never again. Ever. Out loud. I know I’m just kidding myself, though. I don’t need that same crystal ball or the phone number of that said genius to predict the outcome at my next 5 year reunion. It’s futile to resist.

So I’ve accepted the fact that this is inevitable. It’s a five year version of the movie Groundhog Day. The only difference is Bill Murray tried to change life’s outcome whereas I’m resigned to simmer in mine over and over again. I could throw the entire box away, but I know it will magically reappear 5 years from now in some Twilight Zone kind of way. The siren’s voice will call me back, force me to look up and to the right again and there she will be waiting with open arms. I’m a goner.

I didn’t have high hopes of finding a song about ramen. I also looked for songs with ramen in the title, songs that mention it in the lyrics and even albums with ramen cover art. Nothing jumped out at me. I asked Chat GPT for some help on other possible connections and it came up with Nine Inch Nails’ Hurt. I’m not sure why I never added a Nine Inch Nails CD to my collection, but I did like this song from them.

This song is about realizing consequence and regret. It sends a powerful message that we should all proceed through life wisely, because there is nothing worse than being stuck with a label, a pain, a sickness, or a death, that we know beforehand will leave us only wishing things had been different and that we could change the choices we made.

This song is reportedly Trent Reznor’s favorite and is always the final song played at Nine Inch Nails concerts. He considers it the most personal song he has ever written.

Songfacts

Consequences and regret. So spot on for many of life’s choices, even down to my inconsequential decision for more ramen pain. At least now I have a musical connection the next time I hear that ramen temptress calling. Let’s see which wins out – my forgotten labor pains or Reznor’s haunting lyrics. Vegas odds have it as a toss up. Place your bets everybody.

–

For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real

The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of shit
Upon my liars chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair

Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know
Goes away in the end

And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again
A million miles away
I will keep myself
I would find a way

26 thoughts on “My Gen X Playlist: Hurt – Nine Inch Nails”

  1. I can totally relate to this! It’s birthday season in my family, and I keep telling myself, “Just one little sliver of cake won’t hurt.” But it does! Joint aches, digestive issues, the works! But next weekend there’s another birthday and I try again, forgetting the pain. (Face palm) It’s sad when our bodies won’t let us enjoy the same foods anymore.

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  2. Pain of labor forgotten? No way! I remember all of it. My first labor was bad! Almost 24 hours!!! I thought I was going to die.😣
    My doctors were discussing c-section if things done go well. Glad things went well, but yeah…I still remember all of it.
    Sorry! I went way out of the subject here. Nice song. 🎶

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  3. I love the original version of “hurt” but I also like Johnny Cash’s cover.

    It’s neat to hear Trent Reznor talk about it though. The one quote I remember is “as far as I’m concerned, that’s Johnny’s song now”. It’s a testament to how great of a songwriter Trent Reznor really is.

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  4. Two thoughts: I may have been considered a “ramen hoarder.” During COVID, Sam’s Club for a while was limiting the quantity of purchase. In a previous life I used to manage a “big-box” retail store…Well, the key is in when knowing the stores’ re-supply schedule. Long story short…at one point I had four cases of Top Ramen. In a previous-er life, I had a job where I worked alone overnights for a medical supply company. A buddy of mine left me a CD of Johnny Cash’s later cover work like Hurt and Personal Jesus. Anyway, all alone at 2:30 a.m. is not the time to be introduced to Delia’s Gone 🙂

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  5. Wow, you have had a serious longterm relationship with Top Ramen. I can just picture that orange package peeking out from the top pantry shelf. And you’re so tall, the height is no barrier. Too funny!

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  6. I still love ramen! Specifically I love Tofu and Mushroom Shin Ramen in the green package.

    Funny story about NiN, my son likes the band, recently went to their show here, but back in Miami at work, people were choosing music for the radio. When asked what band he liked, he thoughtlessly said NiN and predictably (at least to me), his manager, not knowing anything about the band, chose the hardest, dirtiest song. A guy looked at my son in a weird way and said “That’s devil music, man.”

    I think they went back to the usual playlist after that, and my son felt so embarrassed/frustrated. He didn’t really have a chance to choose a song, nor did he realize that was why he was being asked. ::facepalm::

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      1. Just makes me think of so many embarrassing or awkward moments that could do with more unpacking or translation, but there isn’t time. 🙂

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    1. It is. Versatile too. After boiling them, instead of eating it in a soup, I used to pan fry them with veggies and chicken to make chow mein. A friend used to break up the dry noodles and add it to his salad just like croutons. Yet another friend would eat it dry out of the package. I’ve tried it “raw”. Not good, but not bad. Not my thing. It just was funny to watch him munch on it. Just proves the point that college guys can eat anything.

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      1. College guys WILL eat anything, I do believe. 🤣
        I love the pan fry idea. I went on Reddit last night to ask how to elevate a can of cream of chicken soup, and it took me down a rabbit hole that led to ….ramen! One comment said adding chicken stock instead of water takes it up a notch. 😊

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