I used to love reading. I got the bug early. As a kid, we used to go to the library on a regular basis. My mom would put a limit on the number we could check out each week. It was too difficult keeping track for all four kids. She always had to figure out ways to reduce the potential chaos.
I continued reading into college and early adulthood. Nothing beat a good book. When I lived overseas, reading helped keep my sanity as I starved for English in a place where it was almost nonexistent. I devoured all 1,100 pages of Stephen King’s The Stand in a quick minute. Crazy.
Somewhere along the way, I pushed paused. Mostly it was because I was exhausted chasing my career. Sixty hour work weeks were energy drainers and I preferred meeting friends for drinks to help forget the tough week I left behind. As I grew older, I traded drinking for hiking, writing, streaming and podcasts. These became my counterbalance to a hectic work week. Intuitively, getting lost in a good book seems to be the perfect antidote, but like most things, retracing that first step proves to be the most difficult.
I have a bookshelf of books that are either half started or untouched. Sometimes they just sit there waiting to grab my attention. Other times they give me side eye as I walk by and I can feel the WTF vibe they project. I don’t blame them, though. Nobody likes sitting and waiting, gathering dust.
Oddly enough, I love bookstores. I love roaming the aisles looking at book titles with a cup of coffee in hand. I used to play this game where I’d collect random words from titles and then fashion them into a poem. Yeah, writing poetry may not be the most manly thing to do, says the toxic masculine voice that lingers from my Gen X childhood. Thankfully, I’ve learned to ignore this voice decades ago.
For now, my reading consists of news, blogs and keeping up with my favorite sports teams. Books still haven’t jumped back onto the list yet. One day I’ll stop avoiding eye contact from the bookshelf and pick one up and once again say hello. One day.
Thinking about books reminded me of a synth pop band from the 80’s. Book of Love first gained exposure opening for Depeche Mode in their heyday. I remember hearing them on the radio and at the dance clubs. Modigliani (Lost in Your Eyes) was one of their popular hits.
“Modigliani (Lost in Your Eyes)” is an ode to Italian painter Amedeo Modigliani. The track . . . inspired by the Italian painter’s works and history.
“Amedeo Modigliani had always been the band’s own version of a rock star. After all, we were all art school students.”
Eventually the synth pop sound stepped aside to make way for 90’s bands like Nirvana and Pearl Jam and they eventually disbanded in the early nineties. The cool thing is, they had occasional resurgences over the years. Their hit song Boy even made it to number one on the dance chart in 2001, 16 years after being released on their debut album. Not bad.
I guess the semi-moral of the story is good things are never lost. They just need time to hibernate before eventually coming back around. We’ve seen proof of this over the years through fashion, analog technology and media. Maybe that’s my sliver of hope to hang my hat on. Nothing is ever a done deal. There’s always a chance that tomorrow will be the day I pick up that page turner. And when I do, any suggestions?
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Darkest night, candlelight
Your hands were soft, your skin too pale
White on white, I had to turn away
From your light
I could see you laugh at me
You knew what I was thinking inside
With one look
Of your all seeing eyes
(Your eyes)
You wear the disguise
(Your eyes)
(Your eyes)
I'm lost in your eyes
Your glance felt like a knife
So clear, so blue
I was swimming inside
I was swimming inside
You'll always be real to me
I took one look, I could fly away
Stare, stare in your
All seeing eyes, Till starlight
(Your eyes)
You wear the disguise
(Your eyes)
(Your eyes)
I'm lost in your eyes
(Your eyes)
You wear the disguise
(Your eyes)
(Your eyes)
I'm lost in your eyes
Amedio
Gli occhi tuoi
Mi anno fatto innamorare
MyGenXerLife 
Interesting! Modigliani’s wild warped portraits are cool…and in a way very 80s. My book club really keeps me reading because we have such great discussions about the books. (Maybe your library has one?) I suggest you give Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver a try. It won the 2023 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction. It’s modern retelling of David Copperfield, transposed to the setting of contemporary Appalachia.
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Thanks, Mary! I just looked it up and it sounds very interesting. It may even get me to read David Copperfield all over again. And a book club is a great idea. Just curious. What’s the frequency of your book club? Are you reading one book a week?
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Extra credit if you read Copperfield too! (I didn’t even attempt to.) We meet every six weeks or so – on Zoom. Years ago we all lived near each other and met in person, but then people moved away and we didn’t meet for like 15 years. We regrouped on Zoom (a silver lining of Covid). There are 5 of us. So we read one book every 6 weeks. I can explain how we choose our books, if you want. It works pretty well for us.
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Thanks for sharing. Six weeks seems doable for a read. I did see a posting for a book club at the library that I may give some thought to. I just downloaded David Copperfield on my phone. I’m trying to eliminate my convenient excuses!
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Book of Love –
Not a great song actually LOL But it jumped right into my head when I saw the post title!
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I agree, Lost in Your Eyes didn’t age quite as well as your Book of Love. Your song is a classic that can never get old! Mine is just about nostalgia for me. It reminds me of clubbing in the 80’s. Lol.
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“Other times they give me side eye as I walk by and I can feel the WTF vibe they project.” 😂🤣 Oh man, funny. I’ve got a stack of 10-12 books in various stages of completion on the far side of my nightstand. When I vacuum, I pick them up and get the same vibe. “Hey!”
I think you touched on it with drinking vs hiking, reading, etc. We’ve become used to micro actions, things that require 15 sec of thought, “multitasking.” It’s junk food for our concentrative abilities. We drink to slow things down. Reading can be exhausting… constantly eyeing the remote, thinking about work, seeing anxiety producing clutter… ugh.
Re: suggestion, maybe setting up a reading hour… mentally prepare, mark it on the calendar, turn off the phone, quiet the thoughts. Then rediscover the fun of characters like The Walking Dude and Trashcan Man from “The Stand.” 😎
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Hey, I like the idea of scheduled time. I think I may give that a try. Bite size portions at first to gain momentum. And a starter book not a book as thick as my head like The Stand!
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Today I put together a little tower shelf. Getting it into the spot I had planned required moving a bookshelf that wouldn’t budge without removing all the books from it first. In this case, I’ve read almost all the books on these shelves, but I’ve kept them anyway, wanting to read them again because each had a feeling of life-changing importance when I read them the first time. A lot are meditation books, and brought a pause about how much life and I have changed, and whether I’ll ever again be that person who read for hours every day, poring over details. I don’t want to go back, exactly, but also don’t want to move on. Anyway, this is such a great and relatable post.
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I appreciate your comment and I can relate. There is a balance between wanting to go back and moving forward with a different season. I feel this conflict more often recently. I donated a bunch of books over the years, but I also have many that I can’t part with. Some I’ve read more than a few times, others just once but I love the story or connection. And maybe that’s where I start. Something familiar that I connect with to get the ball rolling to pull me back in.
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This is one of my favorite songs. It always makes me think of the movie Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
I think reading in any form is important. Your books will bring you back someday- for now, enjoy your digital media guilt-free. (PS- I also love bookstores, though I rarely buy anything. I usually go to my local library and get my books for free)
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I loved that movie! I don’t remember the song in it, so now I have to go back and watch it. I just remember a few things from the movie. The heart felt ending and the phrase “Those aren’t pillows!”
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Such a great movie.
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I read more books during summer time when days are longer and work is less stressful. I’ve been so occupied lately with work, family, and some classes I’m taking. I feel like I didn’t pick up a book or stopped by a bookstore or coffee shop since last June. I desperately need to read books again.
Goodreads app/website could help you with finding new books of all sorts.
I have ordered a few books to read during the holidays break (suggested by Goodreads.) The Correspondent by Virginia Evans is readers’ favorite fiction. I read the book’s description and the main character sounds so much like me. I’m giving it a try and see if it’s good. 👍🏼
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Thanks for the suggestions! I used to have a Goodreads account. I should jump back in and hunt around. Thanks for reminder!
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I have more books that are AMAZING that I can share with you. Some are non fiction suggested by a friend of mine, and I read a couple of them last summer. I also have on my “want to read” list a book that I know I will love even though I didn’t read it yet. It’s called “How To Pronounce Knife”
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