My Gen X Playlist: Rainbows – Kacey Musgrave

Episode 7 of Ripple. Another quote and a song.

Tell me. What’s the meaning of life? It’s not what you’ve done. It’s who you are. It’s your heart. That’s the whole point of living, isn’t it?

My heart scare sparked the first time I thought about my mortality. I’d never dwelled on it before, but during those times, I felt a little out of control. You see, I find comfort in preparing for and controlling what I can control. This silent heart condition whispered to me that I could drop dead at any moment.

Of course, that was just my mind going bananas sending me over the deep end. Yes, I needed to be healthier to protect my heart, but death wasn’t knocking on my door. But still, it made me wonder how much meaning my life really held. If I had kids, I could easily point to being a father and raising children. Unfortunately, that wasn’t in the cards. Some might say I could point towards my career and hold that up as something to be proud of. Although I’ve celebrated a moderate amount of success, I’ve learned these things don’t keep me warm at night. In fact, they typically bring sleepless ones instead.

So here I am in my fifties, asking myself about meaning in my life. I don’t have a clear cut answer at this moment. I have to believe I haven’t lived my life in vain. And maybe it’s not one overarching thing that I should be scouring through my life history for. Instead, maybe it’s a collection of moments, smaller themes and touch points. An aggregation that makes the whole. I’m asking myself this question in my fifties and the overachiever in me is a little disappointed I haven’t cracked the code yet. I am appreciative that I’m at least asking the question, regardless of the stage in life I’m marinating in. It’s comforting to rest on the thought that it’s never too late.

Kacey Musgrave made Episode 7’s soundtrack. I’m not sure where I’ve heard Rainbow before, but somehow I have.

Originally penned by Musgraves as an encouraging note for herself after reading her horoscope, this was the final song the singer’s grandmother heard her write and was performed at her funeral.

“For a long time, that was a really hard one to hear, but I thought that it fit really nicely on the record,” Musgraves said. “It turned into a song as a little message to myself, and then ended up being a song for anybody with any kind of weight on their shoulders.”

The song was recorded live. “Every night in the studio, we would end the session with turning all the lights off and just sitting by the piano and recording a live version of ‘Rainbow,'” Musgraves explained. “It’s very vulnerable as a singer to commit to showing a live track because there’s no fixing it. Everyone sees what your capabilities are right then and there.

Songfacts

It’s funny. I think about the original purpose of this blog and how its meandered in a different direction. It started out simply as a way for me to practice writing. I was working the daily prompts and sprinkling a dash of music for a little flavor. Over time, I’ve noticed it’s become an avenue for me to anonymously open up and release a little darkness that’s collected inside. I write, let it leak out, easing the pressure. Afterwards, I’m able to breathe again. Sorry, guys for making you an unwilling recipient of all the muck. But I like the idea of counterbalancing the muck with Musgrave’s rainbows overhead. And contrary to my writing, yes I also have rainbows. I just need to celebrate them more and not let the muck take center stage.

The other day we spent time with my niece before she left to study abroad. She gave me the warmest hug she’s ever given me as we left to say goodbye. I think I’ll bask in the joy of that hug instead of contemplating the meaning of life. Sometimes you just have to celebrate the wins where you can find them.

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For a complete playlist, please click here.

For the Spotify playlist, please click here.

When it rains it pours
But you didn't even notice
It ain't rainin' anymore
It's hard to breathe when all you know is
The struggle of
Staying above
The rising water line

Well, the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same old storm again
You hold tight to your umbrella
But, darling, I'm just tryin' to tell ya
That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

If you could see what I see
You'd be blinded by the colours
Yellow, red and orange and green
And at least a million others
So tie up the boat
Take off your coat
And take a look around

'Cause the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same old storm again
You hold tight to your umbrella
Well, darling, I'm just tryin' to tell ya
That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

Oh, tie up the boat
Take off your coat
And take a look around
Everything is alright now

'Cause the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same old storm again
Let go of your umbrella
'Cause, darling, I'm just tryin' to tell ya
That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head
Yeah, there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head

It'll all be alright