It’s an odd thing. I’m hoping to retire within five years and I can’t wait for that day to come. At the same time, I’m trying to slow down father time because it’s flying by too damn fast. It’s a jumble of conflicting feelings.
Broaching the 60 year mark is definitely a psychological hurdle. And I realize that today’s 60 isn’t a mirror reflection of the 60 when I was kid. Crossing over is something I never thought about until recently. Maybe because it’s finally close enough I can almost touch it. My hands are searching for the emergency brake because the brake peddle doesn’t seem to be working.
In the same breath, I’m also counting down the days when I can walk away from my 9 to 5. I’ve already had a taste of retirement while on sabbatical and in a word, it’s glorious. I can’t wait until it gets here. How do I speed things up?
So, that leaves me with two competing facts: I can’t wait for five years to pass so I can retire and I want to delay my inevitable sixties. It just proves two conflicting ideas can be true at the same time. I wonder if others also grapple with this mixed feeling with time. I want it to simultaneously be both fast and slow. Is that even possible?
I was thinking about songs that were both slow and fast. It reminded me of the last song at my junior high school dance. Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven came on and we all hit the floor for the last slow dance. What’s better than slow dancing with a pretty girl? But of course, you know what happens about six minutes in. The song takes a hard turn. It’s not only fast, but loud. It’s not like we didn’t know the song or anything. It shouldn’t have been a surprise. But when you are a hormonal junior high school kid, you’re simply not thinking that far ahead. When that turn hit, we all stood there dazed. Do we continue to slow dance or what? I recall we all stood there with confused looks on our faces. What a strange way to end my last junior high school dance.
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There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to Heaven
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to Heaven
There's a sign on the wall, but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven
Ooh, makes me wonder
Ooh, makes me wonder
There's a feeling I get when I look to the west
And my spirit is crying for leaving
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees
And the voices of those who stand looking
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, really makes me wonder
And it's whispered that soon if we all call the tune
Then the piper will lead us to reason
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long
And the forests will echo with laughter
Oh-oh-oh-oh-whoa
If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed, now
It's just a spring clean for the May queen
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on
And it makes me wonder
Oh, whoa
Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know
The piper's calling you to join him
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow? And did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind?
And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll
And she's buying a stairway to Heaven
I love this song. And I think most of us over age 45ish finally have that moment where we stare time in the face and realize how fickle it is…and at the same time there are parts of life we cannot wait to have over with. I guess it’s like that kind of cliche saying, these two things can exist.
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So true. The other saying that hits home is the days are long but the years are short. I’m constantly amazed how both of these can be true as well.
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Yeppers!
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I’m 51 right now and unfortunately, my current retirement plan is death. I’m hoping I can do something to change that situation over the next few years. I don’t plan on retiring anytime soon, but I am certainly seeing that point in the distance.
My older brother is 55 and we both talk about it a lot. Our father died at 67 and I know my brother wants to enjoy his “retirement years“
I’m sure I will get to that point myself over the next few years
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It’s never too late to invest for retirement. There are a lot of great personal finance podcasts out there that can provide good advice for all situations. You might want to check them out.
Investment in health is just as important. I started late on this one but am trying to make this change. It’s not easy, but worth the effort.
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I’ll be turning 58 this year, but I only feel old about half the time. I’m with you about time and it’s unwillingness to compromise… hugs
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Me, too! I’m like you. I don’t feel old 50% of the time, but that impending 60 makes me do a double take.
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lol! Try approaching 60 with premature aging of cerebral palsy. I had to have cataract surgery before I was even 50. So to me 60 is more like 80.
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I didn’t know much about CP, so I researched it a bit. I read about the advancement in some treatments that I hope makes everyday life better. I hope there are some that have been helpful for you.
Cataract surgery. Yep, that’s on my list…
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Oh yeah!! I forgot about the fast part in Stairway. I mainly remember the length. You really didn’t want to get stuck dancing with a smelly boy you didn’t like for 8-9 minutes. You have a good memory!
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Hahaha… that gave me a good laugh! I just remember it because it was such an odd moment! I hadn’t thought of it in over 30 years but this blog happened to pull it out of the archives!
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I can relate. Can’t wait for retirement but don’t want to face that age! Time seems to speed up as we get closer to retirement.
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Time speeding up like this is such a strange phenomenon….
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I’m here to tell you as I start my 7th decade that the last 10 years flew by. I would opt for slowing things down if I had a time machine.
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Time Machine….you have no idea how I want one of those! I joke about that but I’m not really joking at the same time!
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I completely get it.
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I so relate to your carrying around all these contrasting sensibilities simultaneously! Also, have you seen Heart perform Stairway to Heaven?? It’s incredible.
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That is a pretty awesome performance! Thanks for sharing!
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You’re welcome! It gives me all kinds of feels. hehe
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