We were sad to hear the news that our friends split up. They were together for over 15 years and now are single in their mid fifties. It must be difficult separating from a long term relationship and jumping back into the singles pool.
They never married, which may have been a good thing. Both are good people with aligned core values. In many ways where they differed, it seemed a nice counter balance to each other. The one area they differed that caused a lot of strife was their views on finances. That’s a tough one to overcome.
He was overly cautious with money while she was a free spirit. Over the years, though, they both converged towards the middle to make it work and became less extreme. I think the chasm was still too wide that it became one of the reasons that ended their relationship. That’s too bad.
In this situation, there really isn’t anyone to blame. They didn’t mesh in this one critical area. I read that 30% of relationships end due to finances. That number seems pretty high, but I don’t doubt that’s it’s true.
I remember before I got married, my brother in law pulled me aside and gave me the third degree. How much debt did I have? How stable was my job? Where was my career going? What were my views on finances. I was a little caught off guard, but I get it. He was just being protective of family. I never held that against him.
Even though our friends are in their mid-fifties, they still have a lot of life to live. Fifties are the new thirties, right? I hope they throw themselves back out there and find other partners. There’s still a lot of time left on the game clock and it’s too early to throw in the towel.
I did a search of 80’s break up songs and was reunited with Soft Cell’s Tainted Love. I was surprised to learn that this was a cover song.
This is a cover of a 1964 song by the American soul singer Gloria Jones, whose original version was released as the B-side of her single “My Bad Boy’s Comin’ Home.”
Gloria Jones has said that she considers the Soft Cell version to be the best one. “I loved the emotion in his voice,” she said. “Their version was far better than mine.”
The song is about a toxic relationship, with the singer realizing he’s got to leave it. “I love you though you hurt me so,” he sings, as he struggles to move on.
I’m not sure if I’d consider our friend’s relationship as tainted. That might be pushing the envelope a little too far. The sad part of a breakup is when the two still love each other but walking away seems to be the best solution.
I love you though you hurt me so
That line does seem to fit them and hits home. They’ve got another thirty years of life ahead of them. I’m rooting they find their next great love.
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Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away, I've got to
Get away
From the pain you drive into the heart of me
The love we share (whoa, oh, oh, oh)
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn, I can't sleep at night
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now, I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears, and that's not nearly all
Tainted love (whoa, oh, oh, oh)
Tainted love
Now, I know I've got to
Run away, I've got to
Get away
You don't really want any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you think love is to pray
But I'm sorry, I don't pray that way
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now, I'll run from you
Too bad about the relationship but (as I say), it wasn’t meant to be. Love this song!
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This version of tainted love happens to be one of my all-time favorite songs.
I’m sorry to hear about your friends. Trust me, I i know what it’s like to be in your 50s and single.
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That’s too bad. Even though they’re only in their 50s, navigating the world of dating apps with “embellished” profiles with 15yo pix might be daunting. I listen sometimes to Dave Ramsey and it seems differences in handling $ is one of the biggest causes for splitting, as you mentioned. Great song choice! And good luck to your friends 😎🙏
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Your attitude about the whole thing is heartening. Most of the time when friends split up, sides are taken and a wide view is absent. I have a few friends (sadly, one recently deceased in her early 80s) who found great new loves later in life, but some of us don’t quite have the energy for the exploration we had in earlier days. 🙂 Either way, life is full of adventures.
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