What’s the best and worst airport you’ve been to?
Monterey is a beautiful scenic city along the central coast of California. It’s absolutely gorgeous. The road up Pacific Coast Highway is picturesque and I highly recommend taking the long drive up the coast. As an alternative, you could fly in. It is more convenient. The only problem for me is I hate the airport.
I flew into Monterey for a client meeting years ago. It’s a small regional airport and typically only smaller aircraft fly in and out. I landed, had a good client meeting and was eager to fly home that same day. In and out. Easy peasy, just how I like it.
I buckled up and it didn’t look like a full flight. Or so I thought. Minutes later, about ten to fifteen middle aged men boarded the plane. From what I overheard, they just finished a three day golf outing at Pebble Beach. They were loud, sunburnt and drunk. Thank god it was less than an hour flight back to LA.
We seemed delayed for a bit. As I waited, I tried ignoring the loud golf bros. I was surprised when the flight attendant came down the aisle and stopped at my seat.
Excuse me, sir. We have too much weight on the airplane right now. Can I ask you to step off the plane?
I was confused. This was about a 30 passenger plane and we weren’t even a full flight. Seriously? Then a thought crossed my mind.
Are you calling me fat?
I complied and disembarked. Still confused, I asked the flight attendant for a better explanation. It turns out the drunk golf bros not only had their luggage, each also had a set of golf clubs checked in and this was tipping the scales. They needed to lighten the load. Once again, I thought,
Are you still calling me fat?
Since I was flying solo, they said I was the best likely candidate. Although they awarded me $500 in flight vouchers, it wasn’t worth the five hours sitting around in a rinky dink airport trying to kill time. This airport was so small, there were limited food options. And this was before streaming and an expanded list of things to do on a smart phone. I literally just sat there watching paint dry. I’ve hated Monterey Airport ever since, even though they were only guilty by association. Love the city, hate the airport. Besides, I never really got a straight answer.
Were you calling me fat?
A few weeks ago I went to a vintage vinyl and CD sale. As I was digging through the various collections, I noticed a twenty something in line to get her album signed by a guest band. Oddly enough, I recognized the album cover. It was the Dickies.
I first heard the Dickies in high school. They were a punk rock band whose songs didn’t hurt my ears. I had a few of their vinyl records that have long since been misplaced. For some reason I remembered the Stukas Over Disneyland cover art and was surprised to find a youngster to be a fan of this obscure punk band of the late 70’s and early 80’s. The dudes signing the albums were pretty old and crusty, but I give them credit being out and about still.
In honor of today’s blog post, I’m going to pull Communication Breakdown from the album. I’m choosing this song because I know deep down inside the flight attendant wasn’t really calling me fat. It was just a poor selection of words. Right?
Don’t answer that.
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For the Spotify playlist, please click here.
hey girl
stop what you're doing
hey girl
stop what you're doing
i don't know what it is about you but i like it a lot
oh let me hold you baby feel your loving charms
communication breakdown
it's always the same
communication breakdown
i cannot contain
hey little girl
i really really think you're swell
what are the things about you that i know that i like so well
i wanna hold, i wanna hold i wanna hold you in my arms
i'm never gonna let you go baby yes i like your lucky charms
I’m not quite sure what to say about your experience except maybe the attendant knew you were the only person not part of the golfing party and so thats why she chose you!?
I would have probably consoled myself with the thought that at least I didn’t have to spend a flight on a small plane full of raucous, drunk, golfing buddies!
So where’s the best airport ?
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Ps My favourite airport is definitely Schipol in Amsterdam. Super efficient, clean, digitally automated and a massive food and shopping area with an international train station above.
My worst airport is Miami which I’ve been to a few times, whoever designed it needs to take a serious look in the mirror!
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I actually became amusing after the shock wore off. She definitely used a poor choice of words. But sitting there with nothing to do was terrible.
Best airport? Any airport that I’m taking off for an international flight. I just love the feeling!
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That’s terrible! There are very few things worse than being stuck at a terrible airport, but I agree with the other comment. I’m not sure I would have liked to be stuck on a plane with a bunch of golf bruhs either. I have to say the worst airport I’ve been in has to be Orlando. I hated it.
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I think you’ve got a point there!
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A quintessential travel horror story!! Poor you, but man can I viscerally feel what you went through being around the loud drunken golf guys for even a short amount of time! So many situations where someone is unbearable in a small space (corn chip guy lol)
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Fortunately, 99% of my travels go without a hitch. It’s that 1% that sticks with you!
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True, that!
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The nerve!!!!! The airline should’ve left the golf bags and shipped them separately at their own expense. That situation would’ve brought out the Karen out in me BIG TIME.
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Silver lining… I didn’t have to fly with the drunk golf bros? Forget it! No silver lining! Lol
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i would have raised a fuss. when i flew a small plane to the maldives, each person had a weight limit including the luggage, and if it exceeded, they weren’t allowed to board.
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Whoa, I like that. On that flight, it was just me and my briefcase.
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I agree with the other comments. I would be grateful that I didn’t have to spend an hour in an enclosed space with the golfer gang! Sorry about the tedious hours that you had to wait in that small airport. And, No, I don’t think the flight attendant was calling you fat! Maybe she was rescuing you from a terrible flight?
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I like the way you think. Funny how a shift in perspective changes the whole thing.
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Depending on when it came to you an extra 500 dollars could be a godsend. I’d still be peeved though. At least you avoided having to listen to all that golf talk I suppose.
The Dickies were one of those bands kids a couple of years older than me all seemed to love. I have the yellow Banana Splits seven inch somewhere.
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I have to admit, I out the vouchers to good use and was pretty glad I had them. Im also glad to hear of someone else that knows about the Dickies. I heard of them through word of mouth. Did they even get played on the radio?
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Yeah they did. They still play the odd Punk festival here in the UK from time to time. Banana Splits (The Tra La La song) gets a bit of airtime on BBC6Music occasionally
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Nice. I had two albums – Stukas Over Disneyland and Dawn of the Dickies. I think I eventually found Dawn of the Dickies on CD. I’ll have to see if I found Stukas. If not, I may have to look for it.
I just listened to the banana splits. Great tune!
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Definitely a poor choice of words, but look at what the flight attendant was dealing with… ugh. Your hour with them might have been much worse than monitoring the drying of paint for five hours.
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So true. Although I grew up among toxic masculinity when I was younger, it seems a million times worse from adults. You’d think they’d outgrow it by now.
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Yup, you sure would think so….
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We spent a summer driving up the Pacific coast highway with the airstream once, and we stayed near Monterey. Gorgeous. So glad I didn’t go to the airport. 🙂
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See… that experience in the airstream up PCH is priceless. What a wonderful season of your life.
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