Sometimes you wonder what came first. The chicken or the egg. Which one preceded the other? I ask something like that about myself at times, too.
I work in risk management. It’s my job to understand, prepare and advise on a spectrum of outcomes, from best to worst case scenarios. It’s the scenarios that lean towards the worst case that cause me heartburn.
I seem to treat my life in a similar way. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. It’s when the anxiety of the worst creeps in and parks itself in my brain is when I silently spiral a bit. I’ve wondered if I’ve always been like this or if it’s an unintended consequence of my job.
I sat in a seminar where the speaker stated that only 15% of everything we worry about ever comes true. I’m not sure where the science in this number comes from or if the math is even right, but it did sound reasonable. That figure seemed to pass the smell test. Now when I begin to stress about outcomes beyond my control, I consider that 85% of my worries are wasted energy about things that will never come true. This at least gives me something to temper my anxiety a bit. It doesn’t work all the time, but I’ll take the times that it does. Life is too short.
I looked for lists of songs that give advice. From my search, I found a song title that seemed to fit the bill: Don’t Eat Things Off the Sidewalk by the Cramps. The song sounded as good as the taste of some dirty thing you’d find on the ground. Great title. Not so great of a song. Pass.
I found another list with 5 songs that give great life advice. One of the songs was Shake it Out by Florence and the Machine.
Florence told the story of the song to MTV News: “I think I came to the studio with a bit of a hangover, and it was one of those strange days where you’re not really sure where a song comes from,” she explained. “Paul just had these chords on the organ, and they sounded optimistic and sad at the same time. And I was thinking of regrets, like, you know when you feel like you’re stuck in yourself, you keep repeating certain patterns of behavior, and you kind of want to cut out that part of you and restart yourself.
So this song was kind of like, ‘Shake yourself out of it, things will be OK,’ ” she continued. “Because sometimes I have to write songs for myself, reminding me to let it go.
I like the idea of letting go of familiar parts of us put a drain on our souls. And as I was watching different versions of this song, I came across this one.
We have a patient who long held cherished tickets to see Florence and The Machine last night with her BFF. All week through set back after set back she asked if she would be able to go. We tried to entertain the idea and it felt so scary and overwhelming for the medical staff and her mother that finally I said no, and my heart broke again.
And then, through a remarkable team effort on the part of Christopher House and Hospice Austin Staff, we were able to make contact with Florence. My patient’s mom was so nervous – will she really come? Is she here yet? She kept popping out of the room and checking. And Florence came. And her mom burst into tears of joy at the sight of her and Florence gave her a big hug. Florence walked around the corner to the patient’s room — stuffed to the gills with teen friends — and there were shrieks and squeals and so much joyous music and singing and tears and tears and tears of grief and joy and hope and love and utter devastation and somehow simple kindness made everything better.
YouTube
Watching this put things in perspective. What I worry about may seem important to me at the moment, but pales in comparison to other people’s challenges. This was a good reset for me. Thanks, Florence.
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For a complete playlist, please click here.
For the Spotify playlist, please click here.
Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play
And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around
All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn
Oh whoa, oh whoa...
And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa
MyGenXerLife 